Making Memories with Mavery

6 months of Mavery

2009-04-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Mavery,

6 months ago we met for the first time. I remember thinking and wondering what life would be like 6 months later with you. And now here we are. We survived! ;-) We have both changed and grown and sometimes we are still trying to figure out this road that God has us traveling on together.

You have come a long way in these 6 months. Sometimes I am so focused on NOW and where we are going, that I forget to look back at where you were.

You sleep GREAT now. We still share a room, but with in the next few months you will be moving to your OWN room. When we first came home bedtime was not a fun thing. Now, when we say night night, you know what to do. You will lay in your crib and sing for a long time after we turn the lights out. You have attached to a panda bear that you insist on snuggling with. You also now like blankets and pillows, those were a no go at first. And once you fall asleep, you STAY asleep. Our only complaint is how early you wake up! Did you not get the memo in China that we sleep late here? That we stay in bed at least till the sun is up? ;0)

You are a hearty eater! In fact, the doctor told us we need to start controlling your portions. You do scream for food at times, and we are trying to figure that out. Is it because you were not always allowed enough food? We are not sure. You can eat ALOT at a sitting, but will eat healthy snacks if offered. I hope that after your heart is all fixed, you will be able to be more active and I know that will help in this area. (you run out of breath easy and so tire out much faster than your siblings)

You do move! You do not sit still at all. A little wiggle worm. Trying to get you to sit and do ANYTHING is a challenge. You do not watch TV, though you know the names of shows from Sage. You will ask to watch "dola" and Diego, and they might catch your eye for about 20 seconds. Coloring? Well, that might keep you busy if Sage is able to be your canvas, or my tables or walls. but sit with you and give you a coloring book? Forget it. You LOVE to dance with your sisters, and can shake your hips and booty! Sage has taught you gymnastics well and I have to keep an eye on the two of you for fear of what you will be doing flips off of.

You are a people person, as long as it is on your terms. Sometimes you walk up to people and talk to anyone. Other times you swat at them if they look at you! Typically though if we are out you are yelling hello at everyone we pass.

You LOVE to be outside. Pushing the baby stroller & baby are your favorite. It really does not matter what we do, as long as we are outside. I am thankful that we are finally getting to spring with sunshine, it does us all good.

Your language is good. You can carry on a conversation, though some of your words are a little "off". My favorite is "I got my hungry" when you have food at the table.

You and Sage are very close, though you love all your siblings. But Sage, she is your favorite. You do tend to get very jealous of her at times, but are also starting to play well with her. You love to dress up and you can run so fast in your little dress up shoes, it makes me laugh!

There are days that are challenging as you learn what it means to be in a family, to have rules and limitations. But we are all learning together. You have come an amazing distance in 6 months, and I know that in another 6 months we will see even more changes.

We know that God has placed you in our family, and we are forever thankful for that. When I watch you fold your little hands in prayer and say "thank you Jesus for mommy, daddy, kenna, sawyer, lainey, Sagey AND Mavery!", I am reminded of what He has done for our family.

I love you Mavery, I really, really do.

Mommy

Now & Then 6 months later!

2009-04-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

6 months together!

5 months together

4 months together

3 months together

2 months together

1 month together

Gotcha day

Now & Then- Five Months Later

2009-03-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

Five Months Together!

Four Months Together!

Three Months Together!

Two Months Together

One Month Together!Gotcha Day! October 13th, 2008

Maverys Open Heart Surgery Today

2009-01-28T12:25:00.000-08:00

If you have not been over to our family blog, please visit and read about Maverys surgery today. We are asking for lots of prayers for our sweet girl. Please click here to read..

Mavery Photo Shoot

2009-01-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

Say Cheese!
Thick hair!

Kisses to all of you from Mavery, she is saying thank you for praying!

Isn't she looking older?

Mad Mavery

This is the part where I am holding skittles trying to bribe her into a picture. Let me tell you, she is stubborn and it took alot to get her to cooperate. She can turn on the tears.

And she won a skittle!

Maverys Hair 3 months later

2009-01-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

Look Closely, do you see??
Closer, do you see yet?

How about now? Yep, we got a ponytail in that actually holds a bow! I am one excited Mavery!

Now & Then- Three Months Later

2009-01-13T20:09:00.001-08:00

3 months together-January 13th, 2008

2 months together-December 13th, 2008

One Month together-November 13th, 2008

Gotcha Day! October 13th, 2008

Three Months of Mavery

2009-01-12T18:17:00.000-08:00

Dear Mavery,

3 months ago we finally met in person. 3 months is just not that long. And I know that every mom says this, but it really feels you have been with us for so much longer. It is hard to remember the days before you were here, though the ache of waiting is hard to forget. And now that ache of waiting has been replaced with an ache for what you are facing.

In less than 3 weeks, you will have your 2nd open heart surgery. So many times I have envisioned your first surgery and it hurt me so much to think you went through that alone. Now, we are going to walk through one together. My heart feels as if it is breaking into a million pieces, to think of your little heart and how sick it is. To think that I have to once again, send you away from me. To know that you will wake up hurting and not understand why. I know it is going to be horrible, but I will be there, and we will get through it together. I wish I could take your place, and carry the hurt for you, I would do that if I could.

In 3 months, you have changed so much. You are a mamas girl and there is no doubt we have bonded well. I am so thankful for that as we go in for surgery. I have wondered if afterwards you will be mad at me and we will have to start over with our relationship, but I do not think so. I believe that God has allowed you and I to come together so closely for this very reason.

Your hair is growing, it seems slow to me, and to you! But it is getting there and when I look back at your first pictures I can see how much it has grown. Oh it is going to be beautiful and while you envy your sisters hair now, they will envy your long thick mane very soon. I promise.

Your language is amazing. You follow most directions and your favorite phrase is "Sage did it"! Our favorite is " I need some help!"

But though your language is exploding, there is still enough of a communication gap that you get frustrated. And we get frustrated for you. Some days, there are alot of tears. You do not have alot of patience. Your daddy has told you on more than one occasion that you can blame that trait on me! ;0) You do not like to be told no, and when we say no, it typically involves a meltdown of you showing us every owie and how hurt you are. I prefer that meltdown over the spitting or even hitting that you do at times. That is not often, but it is sometimes the easiest way for you to get your point across.

You are sleeping in our room still, but in your crib. You were sleeping well till your heart cath last monday. Since then you are back to crying out in the night. You do go to bed easier than you did at first, though if I put you to bed, which you prefer, you drag it out. And call me back 100 times. And I typically go back 100 times. For the "other blanket" or your bear that you threw on the ground, or for "kiss". You need a kiss standing up, a kiss sitting down, a kiss laying down, a kiss through the bars of the bed. You are a snuggler that is for sure.

You are starting to play with Sage more out of my sight. Sometimes. You are still happiest typically to sit on me. But if Sage has something, you must have it to. Your favorite activity is dress up. We have discovered that some of those dress up dresses were not made for big bellys! But you insist on wearing them anyways. You LOVE all things princess and lipstick is the best!

We have been amazed at how your coordination has changed for the better. You can run now, and jump and I don't hold my breath as you go up and down the stairs. I do hold my breath as you think you are a monkey just like Sage and insist on doing flips off my couch!

You still remember your Chinese and we enjoyed hearing you speak to Esther when she was here for Christmas. I wish we could speak it and hold on to both for you.

You love stickers and candy and with those 2 things we can get anything we need done!

You are amazing Mavery. I am blessed to be your mommy. I am so thankful for 3 months of having you here. I am sad for what is coming up, but I know that God chose this path for us and we will be ok. He has written your story,and allowed me to be your mommy. I know I am not perfect and sometimes you probably wonder why you got stuck with me. But I hope that no matter what you will always know I love you deeply and no matter how many scary things we go through, I would not change a thing. You are mine and I am thankful.

3 months Mavery! We are half way to half a year together!

All my heart,

Mommy

Mavery's Pre Testing

2009-01-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

Maverys pre-testing is tomorrow, January 2nd at 11:oo AM. I will most likely be posting everything over on our family blog. The "procedure" is Monday at 8AM. I think I should be able to post from the hospital with updates through my friend Jenny, (who will be with us and knows how to blog!)but again will probably do that on our family blog to keep things simple. Click here to go there! We appreciate your prayers, we feel them.

Think she has attached?

2008-12-23T20:05:00.000-08:00

I worried so much that Mavery would not attach to me. I should not have worried. This is how my days go. Every. single. day. I try to use the bathroom, she tries to sit on my lap! I did not think you would appreciate a picture of that. hehe! She does not get far from me, ever. Unless Makenna can lure her away with promises of lipstick and painted nails. Or if Mark picks her up and carries her into another room with him. But it does not take long and she is back. The good news is, when I am out of the house, she is fine with Mark. When I come in the door, she is SO excited to see me, running over screaming mama. So sweet and I feel loved that is for sure!

3 Years 1 Year Pictures

2008-12-20T13:09:00.000-08:00

No longer that sad little girl in the picture. Laughing, smiling and home forever!

Beautiful Mavery

So cute!

I asked her who was in the picture, she said Jin Song. I asked why Jin Song was sad, and she began to study the picture. I just love this picture, 2 little sisters studying what once was, but is no longer the same.
I just think her profile is so sweet.
The wonder of Christmas, everything is magical for her.

3 Roses for 3 years in honor of her birth mother.

December 18th 3 years ago- 1 year ago..

2008-12-18T18:48:00.000-08:00

As I think about all this date signifies for Mavery, and for myself, I am in awe once again of our Father and how He has written the pages of her story.

3 years ago, December 18th, 2005. In the city of Jinhua, in the amazing land called China, a baby girl was found, on a train, all alone. She was wrapped in old clothes and a red note was pinned to her outfit with her birthday of November 1, 2005. She was just 6 weeks old.

1 year ago, December 18, 2007, I woke up in prayer. I had dreamed of her in my arms and it felt so real. We were anxiously waiting to find out if JinSong would be our daughter. I wanted to believe, with out doubt. God had spoke, I thought. Yet, I woke up in tears because she had felt so real in my dream & I just did not know what the day would bring.

I knew this. I wanted today to mark the end of her being an orphan. I wanted her family to find her. Her mother held on to her for 6 weeks, and let her go. For 2 years, she lived in an orphange. My prayer was simple. Lord, I want her to be mine, but more than anything, I want her to be found, today, in a family, FOREVER. Let this day be forever marked as special on her little life. If I am not her mother, please let me handle this with grace, and just let me be happy for her.

And it was special. And it is. Obviously, we got the call that day that Mavery was ours. It had been the most emotional 6 weeks for me, and it was finally over. And yet, in many ways, it was only just beginning.

But now, here she is. One year later, no longer just in my dreams. And she feels so much better in my arms than I could have imagined! Last year all I had were a few referral pictures. I memorized those, they were etched on my heart. I knew every inch of her. I wondered what she would be like once she was here.

I could never have prepared myself for how amazing she is! Or that today, on this day now, how attached to me she is. I told Mark today, I am pretty sure if she were able, she would literally climb into my skin so she could be that close to me. If I am sitting, she will climb up UNDER my shirt, just to lay against me. She does not leave my side, ever.

There are times, this can get tiring. There are alot of people in this house who need alot of things. But today, I stopped and I just sat to hold her. As I rocked her and she just sighed this happy sigh, I was reminded of how blessed we are to be a part of her story. How thankful I am that she is here. How grateful I am to her birth mother, for giving her life, and giving her hope.

December 18th, forever special for us. Mavery Raye JinSong, forever ours.

**I will add pictures tomorrow, come back and see!

Now & Then-Two Months Later

2008-12-13T19:15:00.000-08:00

Home 2 months!
Home 1 month!

Gotcha Day in China

Maverys Appointment is Scheduled

2008-12-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

So if I don't get REAL hair, I will make my own.
What are you looking at, you are the one WITH hair!

Ah yes, long hair feels so lovely!

I spoke with St Louis Childrens Hospital today and we have Maverys heart catheterization scheduled. It will be on Monday January 5th. We are to arrive at 7am and the procedure will begin at 8:30. I was told to prepare to be there for an overnight stay. Ugh. We will spend the day there on the 2nd for pre testing. More xrays, ultrasounds, etc. They said it will take awhile because they do not have good records of her previous surgery.

The good thing, we get a chinese translator. I am not sure how helpful it will be, but we, and the hospital, think it can not hurt to try. It is a service they provide there, so they suggested we use it. To bad they don't offer free parents spa services once they take your children away from you, I most certainly would take advantage of that! Or could they just drug me when they drug Mavery and wake me up with her? That would work to.

I am honestly at a loss for words today. I know, shocking. I just don't like the words overnight stay. It is supposed to be no big deal. No big deal is going in early and being home by lunchtime. Sigh...

Hair-larious!

2008-12-09T18:49:00.000-08:00

The hair is coming in slowly but surely. Not fast enough for Mavery that is for sure. She still brings me bows every day and I try to get them in there. It is going to be THICK there is no doubt, thicker than most of the girls in this house. Not the boy though, he has some hair. So tonight after bath we had fun playing with it. She thought it was hilarious, and was running around to all her siblings pointing at it and cracking up! Hopefully I did not start something because I really do not care for this look in my Christmas photos! hehe!

The adorable stocking is from my friend Kathy, isn't it great? She sent it to Mavery along with some other things and I just love it! My print that is for sure and I LOVE anything monogrammed. I am thinking I need to have them made for all the kids, each with a different animal print. I think a monkey print for a certain someone! So fun, thanks Kathy. Mavery thinks it is pretty cool to and when she realizes what happens inside of it this month, I know she will be even more excited than she is with it for a sock!

I prayed for this Child

2008-12-06T20:30:00.000-08:00

and the Lordhas granted

what I asked of Him....

So now we give her

back to the Lord

All of her days, we will give her to the Lord..

1 Samuel 1 :27-28

Thank you for all your prayers and sweet notes about Mavery. They have done MY heart good. I feel better about it all, and know that God is holding her in the palm of His hand. He created Mavery AND her heart, He breathed her first heartbeat into her. The fact that we even have her here with us is a miracle. I rest in that, she is here, she is mine and she is going to be fine, this is not a big deal. No word on dates yet, I am actually hoping we can wait till after the holidays now.

My oh so talented brother in law once again worked his magic and did these amazing photos. I asked him to make me some Christmas & Adoption cards, he is very creative. I have lots more to post, will add those to our family blog soon.

Maverys Heart

2008-12-02T14:34:00.000-08:00

We did not get the news we had expected today at Maverys first appointment with the heart doctor. She is ok, she will be ok, just not what we expected.

Everything was fine when we got there. She let the nurse listen to her heart and then the doctor was able to listen. He explained to us exactly what Tetralogy of Fallot is, and he told us what could happen with leaky valves etc.. He said he thought it sounded very good and so we were encouraged before we even had the tests done.

We went to a room to have the echocardiogram done (ultrasound of the heart) and Mavery did great. They had her sitting on me which I think helped a ton. Mark fed her snacks, the lady gave her bubbles, and she was fine till almost the end. Which should have been an indicator. The doctor told us 10 minutes. 20 minutes later she said she would quit but he might want more pictures. After the echo they did an EKG. Which did involve a little bit of pinning her down while they stuck stickers all over her little body, but at least it was very quick. The doctor came in and said he wanted us to come back to the room to explain things. Hmmm..

So we went back to our room and he starts talking and Mavery decided she has to potty which means she automatically pulls her pants down in the middle of the room so you are forced to take her even though you know she is just bored and does not need to go. He kept talking and when I came in the room I could tell by Marks face it was not just a "yep, it sounds great" report. Dr Goel started explaining to me that there are 2 things wrong. Which immediately made my heart drop. And he is so sweet and must have realized that those words did not go well with me because he immediately said "she is going to be fine, everything is going to be ok, you do not need to worry about this." He went on to explain what is wrong and bear with me as I try to explain this, because if you can remember, I am NOT into some details and while I tried intently to listen and understand, I was having a hard time getting past the 2 things wrong part still.

If you would like to know what exactly Tetralogy of Fallot is, click here. I thought this site had a good explanation. He said her repair was good, and that sometimes even with a good repair there are things wrong afterwards. But he said that typically this would have been caught right away with follow up. So we assume she did not receive follow up after her surgery. What he told us is that her left pulmonary artery is narrow. Typically this would be widened in surgery for the blood flow. Sometimes the doctors leave it in hopes that it will enlarge on its own. We of course have no idea why they did it or what their thinking was. But it now needs to be enlarged because it is putting pressure on the heart and could keep the lung on that side from developing correctly as she grows. He is 90% sure that the stress is caused from the pulmonary artery being to narrow. The other 10% chance is that there is an obstruction between the pulmonary artery and the right ventricle from the TOF repair. He will not be able to know this unless we do a Heart Catheritization to enlarge the ventricle. If the Heart Cath works, then we know it was just that the artery needed enlarged and we are done. If it does not work, then we will have to talk about heart surgery to remove the obstruction. We did not talk details about a surgery, he was not letting me go down that road yet and he said he feels pretty sure that we will not have to worry about it. We talked about the heart cath a little bit and I think it will be done with in the next month. He will consult with a team of doctors and then we will set a date. He also said they will do some lung test to check her levels before and after but he lost me there. He said the heart cath will be one day, she will be sedated, and it will be done at Childrens Hospital.

As for the bump, he said that is purely cosmetic as we assumed. He said that when they close up the chest, if the bones are not put together well, they will do that. Sometimes it will get worse, sometimes it will get better as they grow. There is nothing to be done till she is done growing(because her bones must be done growing), then she can make a decision if she wants it fixed. If she would need surgery now, they would fix it then.

This was our first time to meet this doctor. We were given his name from our friends who also adopted a daughter with TOF. He really was wonderful, took so much time explaining things. Told me NOT to go home and get on the Internet, if I was worried or confused to just call him and he would talk to me and explain things. We were both impressed with him. He was calming, which we needed. He told us how beautiful and smart Mavery was, which was very sweet. He said "I can see she is very smart, very good brain. That is good, I can't fix her brain, but I will fix her heart!". He told us she is healthy and to treat her like any child, no restrictions, nothing to worry about. He said we would not see any symptoms for these problems she has, till she is about 10, then we would see her winded and tired because of the affect on her lungs.

So, all that technical stuff aside... To say we were shocked is an understatement. You know we expected to walk in there and hear she is fine and be on our way. Neither of us ever expected any different. Which is silly I suppose. And I think that is the thing with heart babies. From the outside, you would never know anything is wrong with them. So my emotions have been all over the place today. The thought of putting her under scares me to death. The fear of something going wrong during the procedure. The what if's, whys.... But I am trying not to dwell on any of those. I am trying to rest in the verse in Psalms, 147:3 HE HEALS the broken hearted. I know that Mavery is going to be fine. I really trust that God is going to take care of her. We know that this procedure is very common and even if it came to heart surgery, she will be ok. It is just the mommy part of me that knows she has already been through enough in her 3 little years. I want to protect her, I want to keep her tears away. I do not want her to have to go through any of this. And yet then I think, at least this way I can hold her and comfort her. Who would have done that in China? As he talked about her heart today and I pictured that first surgery, my heart broke all over again. Who cared for her after that? Did a nanny that she knew stay with her, or was she sent alone to the hospital. It is to hard for me to visit those thoughts. So in many ways I am thankful that this problem was found now I suppose. Still hard though.

We ask for your prayers as we prepare for the heart cath. Our prayer of course is that this will fix it and we will not have to think of surgery at all. I will let you know when it is scheduled. Thank you for thinking of us.

Maverys Heart Appointment

2008-11-30T21:02:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday at 11:00 Mavery will visit the heart doctor for the first time. I expect that we will get a good report, but I do appreciate your prayers. I am concerned for her going through the tests as I know it will be hard since I am not able to explain things to her that they will be doing. I have been warned that they will expect her to lay still or she might need to be sedated which worries me. Thanks for thinking of us and I will update after it is over. Working on the birthday party post and Thanksgiving pictures on our family blog!

**Adorable shirt made by my sweet friend Robin at Red Thread Stitches. Isn't that fun? I just love it. Click here to see her stuff! And Renee, do you recognize the bow in her hair? Yes, it is Lilys that you left here, had to throw it in after she lost the first bow that day! I promise to get it back to you! ;0)

Thankful for Mavery

2008-11-26T19:47:00.000-08:00

Sage was standing in the spot Mavery wanted to stand in. She knows how to throw a good temper tantrum that is for sure. Little does she know, I have made it through 4 other kids tantrums and I can ignore them for long periods of time with out batting an eye. She HATES it if I ignore her! ;0)

She enjoyed ice cream at Sage's birthday dinner! Thank goodness for bleach!

I walked into my bathroom one day to find her and Sage "playing" makeup. Look closely.
See her "pretty" makeup. Mavery and Sage are having LOTS of fun together now!

We started pulling out the Christmas Decorations and we showed her Santa and said HoHoHo and she ran up to him laughing saying HoHo over and over so I have a feeling she "knew" of Santa. Think we will get her on his lap?

Life is good here. Mavery is changing every day and my heart just smiles with how quickly she has blossomed since coming home. Sometimes I feel like she has just been here forever and when I tell someone she has just been home a month, I pause to do the math to make sure that is correct!

We had a Thanksgiving dinner at our church recently and Mavery LOVED her first taste of turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy! We know she will enjoy turkey day.

We went for haircuts last night. ALL of us, fun times. As soon as we got in and a lady was sitting in the chair getting a cut Mavery grabbed her own hair and started screaming & crying NO!!! It was funny and sad all at the same time. I KNOW she wants hair so badly and I hate that they shaved her head because it obviously was not a good time for her. It is growing & it is thick so I know it is going to be beautiful once it is grown out. By the end of the evening when we had ALL had our hair cut, she was calmer, so hopefully when we do have to trim hers, she will be more comfortable.

The sweetest thing EVER is that now she goes to bed so easy even for me. When I lay her down she lays on her back and sticks her hands behind her bed ( I have to get a picture) and puckers up her lips for a kiss. Then as I walk out she blows kisses and screams over and over, LUV U!

Tonight we had a Thanksgiving Eve dinner (more on my family blog) and we all went around the table to pray and say thanks and when it came to her she yells out THANK YOU and then Mark walks her through the prayer and I thought I was going to lose it. To hear her little voice, repeating her father, as they prayed to our Father, oh my heart...

I am thankful this year that Mavery is home, in our arms, at our table, forever. Last Thanksgiving was hard. VERY hard. I had seen her, I felt she was mine, but she was not. Mark and I were not in a happy place trying to figure things out. I was consumed with thoughts of her and so many unanswered questions. But now here she is, our family feels so complete right now and I am so excited to see the holidays through her eyes!

Facebook

2008-11-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

Because I hear it is THE thing to do, I joined Facebook. I have been told that it is much easier than blogger. Whatever. You can't sit and write a book on there or anything like that. But since I felt I lost all coolness as of late, I needed something to up my status. Totally kidding. I could care less if I am cool, I think that is pretty obvious! ;0) I actually just joined because I had to find out what the fuss is about. And I am nosey. And I am stuck inside the house to much with all these kids. So hey, if you are on Facebook, come be my friend. I saw my brother in law has over 700 friends and I have about 30. That seems kind of depressing. ;0) Just in case you didn't know, Shannon Laxton. And just so you know, it is NOT easier than blogger and I can't hardly figure out what you are supposed to do there, but I am sure someone will teach me!

A Month of Mavery

2008-11-13T19:52:00.000-08:00

My Mavery, My Miracle Mavery

One Month ago, a dream that had grown in our hearts for a year, was in our arms. We have now celebrated a full month of YOU, Mavery. Time drags when you are waiting, but flies when you are having fun! It seems forever ago we were there, in China. It seems you have been with ME forever. And in alot of ways you have. My arms have only held you for one month, but my heart has held you much longer.

As you run into my arms today, you are not the same little girl who ran from me in China one month ago. There we saw heartbreak, here we see joy. There we saw fear, here we see confidence. There we saw no affection returned, here we FEEL hugs and kisses! I like being HERE!

One month ago we walked into a room with aching arms and anxious hearts, ready to hold you and to see the promise God had given to us almost a year earlier. You were so scared of us, and I think probably really MAD at us to be honest. My heart still hurts as I think of how hard that was on you. But my heart rejoices as I see you today, so full of joy and life and happy to be mine.

You are amazing, I hope you always realize that. I know that they probably tried to prepare you before you met me, but how could they have made you understand what was about to happen? Your whole little world was about to change, everything you knew and were comfortable with was being taken away. Yet here you are, just one month later, and you smile!

One month ago you were not so sure of your Baba. Now you walk downstairs to his office just to tell Daddy HI! You are as in love with him as much as he is in love with you. I knew it would not take long, once you realized how much fun he is! If he walks out the door with out you, you cry as if your heart is broken. When he comes upstairs from his office, you run at him screaming and laughing ready for a big hug!

You have found that the dog is not quite so bad after all. Good thing we did not get rid of her, or my mommy guilt would have been terrible for the other kids! Now you think it is hilarious to run to her and give her a hug or let her give you kisses! You yell "HERSEY" in your sweet little voice and love letting her in and out the backdoor. You had never before probably seen a dog before a month ago, you were terrified of her the first few days here, and look at you now!

Tonight as I put Sage in bed you came running in her room and yelled NIGHT NIGHT SAGEY! while reaching up to give her a hug and a kiss. Oh how that melted my heart! Everyone asks how the 2 of you are doing. And I reply that you have your moments, which you do. But overall, you have both done amazing. You adore Sage, and when she is not here you ask for her. My prayer has been that God would weave your little hearts together, and that is being done I know. I know that it is because of Sage, you are doing so many new things so quickly such as...

Take a bath. You HATED baths in China. Come home and watch someone your size jump in, you follow right behind! You now will put your face into the water and I know it won't be long and you will swimming like Sage!

Sit in a carseat happily. You just sit back there and smile away! Sage is next to you and as long as she is, you are fine.

Running! You have gone from being "clumsy" on your feet, to running circles as Sage chases you!

CLIMBING! While I hoped this would not happen, you can now get up on the barstools after Sage. Thankfully so far you seem to understand the counter is not for running on, unlike your spicy sister.

If Sage eats it, you will try it. Might not like it, but will try it. You do still want to snack ALL the time.

You are speaking so many new words and understanding even more than you speak. Sometimes I say something and you do it and I just stop and can't believe you knew what I said! You also parrot anything anyone says. I laughed so hard the day Sage asked for a sprite and all of a sudden your little voice yells out "I want a sprite!"

You say all of the kids names and are starting to bond well with each of them. Makenna has been so great with you recently. You LOVE to be outside and so she has been bundling you up and playing with you forever out there.

You sleep so well now most of the time. You still whine a little, but when we say night night, you head to your bed with that little pout and for the most part, go right to sleep. You do get up to early though, we must have forgot to tell you we sleep in around here! And sometimes you wake in the night and cry out, and I wonder what it is you are thinking of at those times.

You are my little shadow for the most part. Sometimes daddy comes upstairs and tells you to go play when he sees you hanging on me. As soon as he goes downstairs you come right back to me. You will walk away for a few minutes, but you always keep me in your sight wherever we are. This is good I know.

Your hair is slowly coming in, you want pigtails so badly and I want that for you to! It won't be long and you will be sick of me putting it up and brushing it all the time! In fact, Sage told me she wants YOUR haircut! ;0) You are no longer covered in bug bites. Now your skin is so soft and clear. Oh those cheeks and your lips. They just BEG to be kissed.

My favorite thing is the fact that now when you get hurt, you let me snuggle you, you no longer push me away.

You are so much more than I ever dreamed you were going to be. I can't believe that out of all the mommies in the world God chose ME for YOU! This past month our family has been complete because of you. You are a gift and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us!

I love you,

Mommy

Now & Then - One Month Later

2008-11-13T19:33:00.000-08:00

Mavery Singing!

2008-11-11T19:32:00.000-08:00

**Scroll to the bottom of the blog and pause my music so you can hear the sweetest voice!

The kids have this kids choir CD in the car that the kids insist we listen to over and over and over. And over! ;0) We were riding along the other day and it was not on, but all of a sudden Mavery starts singing one of the songs! We all just started laughing and clapping because it was SO clear! If you can't understand she is singing "I know, I know what I stand for, I know, I know what I believe". Hope it makes you smile!

One Year Ago...

2008-11-08T00:00:00.000-08:00

Do you ever forget the moment you lay eyes on your child for the first time? Even if it is simply on a computer screen? I hope not.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant. 4 times I found out and I remember so clearly, snapshots that will forever remain on my heart. I remember the ultrasounds where I held my breath till I saw tiny hearts beating. I remember finding out if we would have a boy or a girl and being in awe that my body was growing that little being inside of ME. I remember giving birth and seeing those sweet faces for the first time, a true miracle that we had created. I never thought anything could match that amazing feeling.

And then God led us down a different road. The road of adoption. Some wonder if they could love a child that did not grow in their body. That was not something I ever worried about. Though I did think it would be different. Not less love, just different.

Till I saw the picture of Sage. And it was so much the same. I, of course, was in love with just the idea of her. but then I saw her picture. I had waited for over a year to see that picture and they handed it to me and it was exactly the same as when I saw that ultrasound of Makenna, Sawyer and Malaine. My child. Not created inside of me or by me, but mine. That referral moment was truly magical. Unlike anything I had experienced and I wanted to relive that again.

Yet we knew if we were called back to China, it would be for special needs. So that meant I would not be "surprised" with a picture. I would not walk into my adoption agency with everyone cheering and wait in anticipation as I found out if we were getting a chinese boy or girl. And I had no idea how in the world I was going to find MY child out of the hundreds of waiting children that were on various lists. And how could it be magical if it was not a surprise or if I had to figure it out if I was really seeing my own child.

And then it happened. I saw my 5th child. And it was just as magical, just as special, just as amazing as all the times before.

You can read the entire story by clicking on the link above labeled Maverys story. But of course, I can't just leave it at that, letting you read old thoughts, as I celebrate this magical moment.

365 days ago, it was just a normal day. Yet I do remember I was feeling this "push" over that last month to move forward with adoption, again. I had felt it for awhile. But not so strong as it was that month. Which was just crazy because we had just started homeschooling, we had just been on a big family vacation, we were crazy busy and Mark was clearly saying NOT YET, maybe not ever.

It was MOPS that day, and I had given a prayer request to my DGL, are we supposed to have more children? The kids found a ladybug in our car, they said maybe we had a baby out there. I came home to an invitation to view a new list of children. I rushed Sage down for her nap.

I prayed, and begged to look at this list of children not with my eyes, but with Jesus eyes.

I pulled up the list.

I started looking through each of them slowly, not wanting to rush, thinking a few were sweet and wrote down their names.

Then I saw her.

A beautiful little angel who took my breath away, brought tears to my eyes and literally had me shaking.

Just by looking in her eyes.

I had not yet read her information, I had no idea at first what was wrong. I just looked into those sad eyes, thought about kissing on those sweet lips and wondered.

Could she be mine?

Is this who I have searched for?

Is this what it feels like to "find" your child?

I read through the information they had given for her. Heart baby. 2 years old. Her birthday, November 1st did not even register with me at that point, I just knew she was close in age to Sage.

I quickly emailed my friend Kathy, who knew I was going to look at the list and asked her what her daughters heart condition was. She emailed back and asked to see her picture. I still have the email I sent to her that I labeled, is this my daughter?

Of course the day did not end with Mark looking at her picture and dancing through the house saying, WE FOUND OUR DAUGHTER! Quite the opposite. Little did I know that what was pure joy at that moment for me, was going to turn into a very hard month for us. A month I don't care to relive, and yet it all came to be the way it was supposed to.

Mavery is mine. She is here in my arms.

One year ago I had no idea that our entire world was about to change.

Today, I am looking in those eyes right in front of me and they are no longer sad.

I am kissing those lips and they are as kissable as I imagined last year.

Not only do I see smiles, I hear giggles and listen to her yelling MOMMY! (which is the sweetest sound EVER!)

One year ago I saw her, today I hold her.

Magical Moments, Miracle Mavery.

Feeling Blessed.

Three Years...

2008-11-06T19:47:00.001-08:00

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Mavery is THREE!

2008-11-01T18:35:00.000-07:00

Mavery Raye JinSong, officially three years old. Many times over the last almost year I prayed and prayed to the Father to let her be home before her birthday. And He answered that prayer, for that I am so thankful.

How do you put it into words, the things on your heart for your new daughter who is 3? Your daughter who you just met 3 weeks ago. Your daughter who has had 2 birthdays without you, almost 3 years with out you? I am not sure there are words.

As I hold her in my arms, and look into those dark brown eyes, I am in awe. When I hold her now, she melts into me, in a way she did not in China. It is that feeling of , I trust you, I like you, and I am happy.

As I cradle her like a newborn baby, all 30 pounds of her!, I just wonder, what was she like 1096 days ago when she entered this world? Were her cheeks as kissable as they are now? Did her face scrunch up the way it does when she is mad? Did her gorgeous lips pucker up and did her mama kiss them the way I love to do? What were those first few hours like? Her red note said she was born at 10am. Did she look around at the world in wonder, was she passed around to a room full of people who kissed her little head. Were there tears poured over her as a mother held onto her knowing she would not keep her? Or did she think that maybe things would be different?

I have struggled that I missed 9 months of Sage's little life. But now I have to imagine THREE years! I missed Mavery learning to sit up, and taking her first steps. I missed her first words and potty training. (though I am good with the potty training, really I am! ) I missed her being a baby. I have no pictures of her besides the finding ad at 6 weeks old, until she is almost 2. Can you imagine what a beautiful baby she was? Those lips, those cheeks, I know she was breathtaking.

The Father has reminded me He was there. He saw her first breath. He held her while her mama walked away. He carried her into a hospital and never left her side through an open heart surgery. He guided her first steps and I bet he laughed at her little temper as she learned how to get her way. He held her hand the day they posed her for pictures, telling her maybe a mommy would come for her when the pictures were done. He wrapped her in His embrace as 2 people tried to figure out that she was indeed their daughter. He loved her. He loved her for me and I try to rest in the peace of knowing that He has the pictures of those days I missed.

Instead of looking back, I am trying to look forward. To all the memories I get now. All the moments that I will forever treasure. I was not there for so many things. But I was there to see her say goodbye to the only home she had known. I watched a little girl who was scared of strangers, learn to trust us. I saw a face that had never smiled in a photo, glow with giggles. I saw her experience her first plane ride, her first stay in a hotel. I saw her dip her toes in a pool for the first time and watched her figure out that ketchup is amazing! I saw her watch in wonder as fish swam in ponds at a hotel, and birds would sing in cages. I saw her learn that she could crawl up in my lap when she was nervous & feel safe, and that her daddy could toss her higher than she had ever gone before! I have seen a little girl who had her whole little world turned upside down, survive it and still smile. I have watched her become a daughter, a little sister AND a big sister! A granddaughter, a great granddaughter, a niece and a cousin. I have watched in awe as she has gone from a picture in my heart, to an answered prayer in my arms.

So as my Mavery turns 3, I hold onto what I now have. Gods gift to our family, in our arms exactly when He said she would be.

Mavery visits the Doctor

2008-10-30T20:16:00.000-07:00

Today Mavery went for her first appointment with our pediatrician. She did so good and the office is all in love with her. She walked in waving and saying hello to everyone, and thought stepping up on the scale was to much fun. Everyone was amazed that she has just been home one week, she just acts like she has been here forever.

She weighed in at 29 1/2 pounds which puts her 30% on weight. But for height she is only 34 inches which puts her barely on the chart, about 3%. Not proportioned very well right now, but I think after running around with her siblings that might change a little bit!

Her heart sounded good and the doctor does not think the murmur sounds any different than it should sound after heart surgery. She did not see any reason for us to rush into the heart doctor, so we will keep our appointment there for late November. She did wonder about the bump and said it does not look like scar tissue to her. Not that she was concerned, just curious about what they had done. She said they will probably do a chest x-ray among other tests. She said sometimes the heart might be enlarged and can push out the chest, so that could be what happened even before surgery.

She said developmentally she is doing great, which we knew. She is a little unsteady on her feet at times, but I have a feeling they did not let her run alot at the orphanage. It seems her heart may have made them nervous from things they said to us. And it is not that she is BAD on her feet, but compared to Sage she is just not as steady. Of course comparing her to Sage is hard as you know Sage is part monkey! ;0)

The doctor said she expected this quiet shy, sickly little girl to come in and that is not what Mavery is at all! We are all just amazed at how well she is doing, how happy she is, and how big her smile is! Praise God for that!

We started shots and will get her blood drawn soon. But we were happy to know that her heart sounded good. And happy that she was still smiling at the doctor when we left!

And in case you are curious, Mavery is about 2 inches shorter than Sage, and 3 pounds bigger.

The Heart of Adoption

2008-10-30T07:00:00.000-07:00

**I wrote this in China and never posted it. Bumping it up now so you can read it.

There are so many thoughts swirling in my head about adoption. Someone asked me what the chinese think. And that was interesting that it was asked, because that day we ran into a group that was SO confused. They were pointing at Mavery and then pointing at us and trying to ask us if that was our baby. Our guide finally came over and helped us out. He said that for alot of the Chinese People, the concept is very difficult to understand. Because of problems in the past, where children were sold for money and abuse, they don't dare even think of adoption. On the plane to Guangzhou, the man in front of me just stared at me the ENTIRE flight. Not mean, not happy, just stared and I am sure just confused. Many of the chinese have NO IDEA that there are so many orphans here. And why would we want to come here to adopt? They just can't comprehend it. And then try telling them we already have FOUR kids at home, they get even more confused. It bothered me because our guide in Hangzhou was giving us receipts and Mark said for our taxes and we explained that our government helps out with adoption. And he said oh no wonder you all want to come adopt, you get money. I said, no, we come to adopt because our daughter needed us. By the way, did I tell you how amazed our guide was that we have now 5 children and I take care of them ALL by myself he kept saying? I told him I needed a nanny if he wanted to come home with us! ;0) It is just so strange for them here that we want so many kids. And it is so strange for us to see all the families with just one child, we love our big family! Now many of the chinese do look at us and give us the thumbs up or say lucky baby, lucky baby. So it is just all over the place. This time I have become more immune to the staring. Sometimes I will just look up and notice everyone staring and I look around to see WHAT they are staring at and realize it is ME! I sometimes wonder what Mavery is thinking as they stare so hard at us! She looks at them like, "what, you think it is odd to have a white woman holding a chinese baby? Believe me, I thought it was weird at first to, but I am getting over it!" Sometimes I look at them staring and look at her staring back or listen to her speaking to them and all I can do is giggle!

So why DO we adopt? All it takes is one trip to an orphanage, and your question is answered. So many people ask us, what does Mark do? As if we have all this money so we just adopt. Believe me, we don't have that much. We have alot of debt! ;0) What we do have is a love for children AND a broken heart for those who have no families. For me it is hard to comprehend why there are not more people doing this. I walked in a room on Tuesday and saw beautiful, beautiful children. Not all perfect and healthy. Not all tiny babies. But what I saw were kids, that live in an orphanage that have no one to call mama. Sure it is a nice place when it comes to orphanages, but Mavery is one of the lucky ones. Most are not that lucky. We hear stories of places that the nannies leave all night and they are alone. We know that some do not have running water. Some have one nanny for a ton of children. And no matter what, they go to bed at night and wake up in the morning with out a true family. What happens to these children once they hit the age where they are no longer adoptable? (In China it is 14, I think that they are not able to be adopted) Imagine it, and that is what might possibly happen. What if we had said no, what would have become of our girls? That thought makes me sick.

Many people write me and tell me they have always wanted to adopt. Many write and tell me their husbands are banning them from my blog! ;0) I hope and I pray that you will read our story and that you will be moved. NOT because we are doing something great, believe me, we are not patting ourselves on the back. Our prayer has been from the beginning that God would use us however He can. To bring more children home to our house, to encourage others to adopt, or just to open the eyes of those around us to pray for the orphans in this world.

I believe scripture is very clear in that we are called to take care of the orphans. And sometimes, it does not make any sense, it might not be what we want, but what if there is a child out there, that God has planned for your family, and we say no? What if your son or daughter is sitting in an orphanage RIGHT NOW? Isn't that an amazing thought? Half way around the world, your baby might be waiting on you! Waiting on us to figure it out, listen to the call, and most important get up and do something! It seems impossible doesn't it? To come up with ALL that money. To take care of ANOTHER child. To add more stress to an already stressful life. To travel on a plane for 15 hours and stay in a country for 2 weeks that is SO far out of our comfort zone it makes you just want to run and hide? Who wants to do that? Your child wants you to, and most important, God most likely wants you to also.

I know all my friends love it when I get on this kick. That I think I am going to convince every person I know to adopt. But it is not about me. God has given me a passion for adoption no doubt. And maybe it is not for everyone. Though I really hope that everyone asks. When Mark was saying no to Mavery and we went to our pastor he said something that has just stuck with me, and I pray that it never goes away. He said" You do not have to be 100% sure that this is RIGHT, but you have to be 100% sure that this is wrong, because if you walk away, and God has said to do this, you will be judged for it". That is what did it for Mark. Adding a 5th child did not make sense to him. We homeschool, we are going broke from the 4 we have, we are CRAZY, he has some health conditions that are scary, we feel pulled for attention with what we have. FIVE is just ALOT. But we both know that God is bigger than any of those things, and YES, 5 is alot of kids, but it is what God has planned for us. We have no idea if this is it. Very possibly it might be. But if it is the last, it will not be because WE said no.

I hope that you will at least think about it. Look at the faces in the pictures above. Look at our Mavery & Sage. Don't just read our story and think "good for them". Look at our story and think, we COULD do that!

Just for the record, China is not the only place you can go, of course. That is simply where OUR children were. Right now international adoption is NOT easy, especially if you want a young baby. But no matter how much work it is, or how long you wait, your children wait for you to. And in the end, when you hold them in your arms, it all makes sense of the work you did and the waiting you waited. As I think of my 2 little girls that were WAY more work than my pregnancies and births, I know that I would have waited for them a lifetime if I had to. I would fly on a plane even longer(gulp!) if it meant holding them. Don't discount an older child either or "special needs". I know it seems scary to think of taking on a 5 year old or a child that has some health concerns. But even when we get pregnant we are not guaranteed a healthy baby for sure. And as I look at Mavery, who was on a special needs list, I do not see a child who was considered not perfect, I just see my daughter.

My daughter, my Mavery, I love the sound of that!

Isn't It Amazing...

2008-10-29T07:06:00.002-07:00

That one day you can wake up to a normal day, log on to your computer, and look into the eyes of your child that you were not even sure existed?

That one day you can give your heart and being away to someone that you have never met but know because the Lord told you she was yours?

That you can leave behind 4 children knowing that they will be fine and loved and spoiled and taken care of for you while you travel and be peaceful about that?

That you can fly on a plane for 15 hours and land in a country that holds secrets you have dreamed about for so long?

That you can meet friends in person that you have only "met" on the internet and know that you will be connected for life, and be thankful for that?

That you can walk into a building in the middle of China and you can watch God himself carry your child into it and place her in your aching and waiting arms?

That you get to watch a little girl who is scared to death begin to trust you in such a short time as she realizes that she is yours?

That you can visit the place where she lived for 3 years and see other children waiting and want to take them all home with you and convince yourself that you WILL convince others they just might have children out there waiting?

That you can figure out without a doubt exactly why you were created, to be a mother to all these children.

Isn't GOD amazing?

Family Fun

2008-10-28T21:52:00.001-07:00

Today we ventured to the mall, and we had fun!

Sugar & Spice right there! (I will let you guess who is who! hehe!)

Mavery is making sure no one is trying to steal her car, Makenna is making sure Mavery does not hit anyone in her way! Have I mentioned she really does love hairbows! Some have asked how I get her to keep them in and she typically wants them there, isn't that funny?
The King of our House!

Sawyer calls these 2 Thunder & Lightening! They love to wrestle!

Sweet Sister Hugs before bed are the best!

Notice the handcuffs? Sage kept locking them together and Mavery found that hilarious!

Still got her bling on

They were swapping suckers back and forth, so funny!

Settling In

2008-10-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

For some reason taking care of 5 children, & doing my own laundry takes up all my free time so I just don't have the time to blog like I did a week ago! But oh it is good to be home. My bed feels so soft, my soda is so cold(you don't drink the ice in China, in case you wonder)I have no worries about using a squatty potty when I leave the house, and ALL my kids are so HAPPY! Yep, Ms Mavery has found her place and she is just to sweet. What happened to that little girl who just 2 weeks ago was SO sad and was hoping I was just a bad dream? Now we have this beautiful little spirt who loves to give hugs & kisses, thinks baba(daddy) is amazing, and if you did not know it, you would think she has lived here all of her life. Besides the chinese talking of course, that kind of gives it away! Just a quick rundown of some of the things I have been asked...

***Language--She is still speaking all in Chinese. But last night I handed her a cup and she said Thank You just as clear as could be! She is saying all of our names along with our dog Hershey even! She says hi, hello, bye bye. She is understanding alot. Potty, bye bye, eat, drink, night night. And she repeats everything we say. I know it won't be long and she will catch on. She is starting to respond a little to Mavery, but we all call her SongSong or JinSong most of the time.

***Sleeping--In China I could never get her to sleep easily. Usually she fell asleep in our bed, after screaming, then we moved her. Since home she did not want anything to do with her crib. BUT she is now falling asleep in her crib(it is in our room) and last night slept in it all night long!

***Jet Lag--We are doing pretty well. MUCH better than last time, I walked around in a fog for 6 weeks! I know it is all the prayers that have been said for us. Not to say we are back to normal. If I sit down, I fall asleep! Blame it on the soft couches here maybe! ;0) I have been shocked at how well Mavery has done with the time change, no problems at all.

***The DOG-- We knew Mavery did not like dogs, and that did not change when we walked in and saw Hershey! She screams and insists on being held if she is in the room. Funny thing is that Hershey is scared to death of Mavery since she goes crazy every time she sees her! I was ready to get rid of the dog it was so frustrating, but today we have made huge progress and so I know it is just baby steps. The poor child had never even seen a dog before so I know it will just take time.

***Eating--She eats anything. I don't think she misses Congee(soupy rice) or any type of rice for that matter! She is so good with a fork for not even 3. She loves meat and eggs. And pancakes, and goldfish. ;-) She will try anything and the only thing she has really turned her nose up at is green veggies. Watching her eat lettuce was the funniest thing ever and she tried to like it but just did not. She loves to drink water, and is figuring out the sippy cup as I am just not going to carry around a bowl wherever we go! hehe!

***Did I mention she is fully potty trained? Love that. And no, Sage does not care and still refuses to be all the way done with that.

***Doctor---We go on Thursday to see her pediatrician and then to the heart doctor the end of November, unless the Ped hears something that makes her think we need to see the heart doctor sooner.

***Kids--- LOVE her! Malaine is probably loving on her the most. Hearing Mavery say their names is just priceless. I knew in China she missed being around kids & once she walked in here with her siblings, she was off running and giggling and just happy. I would not say that she has yet attached herself to anyone of them in particular except maybe...

***SAGE---She follows Sage around for sure and copies EVERYTHING she does. Baths are now fun when you have a chinese sister in with you! Remember how sad she was about bathtime in China? Now she jumps right in, dumps water on her head and just enjoys it. She is not going under the bathwater and swimming as Sage does, but I won't be surprised when she does. She does not climb as Sage does, but is learning. I sat Sage down and explained to her how she has to be a good example to Mavery and to stop climbing so much. She said "ok mom" while she walked across the kitchen table. Sigh... Hearing them chatter together is SOOO cute. I ask Sage what Mavery is saying and she tells us something in english, as if she really understands her. We just laugh and laugh! Of course there have been a few moments, and alot of that is the language barrier between them. Mavery hits when she gets mad, and that just breaks Sage's heart! But if Sage cries Mavery comes over and tries to give her something to make it better. I know these 2 are going to be the best of friends and I just pray that God would continue to knit their hearts together as only He can. All the kids are really doing well overall. Malaine was a little whiny at first, but she has been better and so loving to Mavery, always wanting to hug her and be by her. Sage has been really good, just a few times has she cried. Makenna and Sage are very close and Makenna is making sure that Sage does not feel left out at all.

So, we are doing well. MUCH better than I could have dreamed. I realize right now we are in the "honeymoon phase" and that reality could change next week. But for now I am enjoying life as it is. The stress of "adoption waiting" is over and we are just loving that Mavery is HERE! No longer a dream but now an answered prayer. Someone told me today that she just looks like she is smiling with her whole being and I loved that. I love hearing you say how you can see her change since those first days. We are in awe of her. The fact that she walked in here like she just knew it was home, that this was where she was meant to be all along. And of course we know that is truth, she has been a part of our hearts for so long now.

By the way, I have to add we are getting SPOILED here. I came home to a sparkly clean house. (I was told the floor was even done on hands and knees and I suspected that because I slid across my bathroom when I came home, I LOVE that kind of clean!) and we are being fed meals that we have not cooked. Sawyer had to let people in on Saturday while the entire house was still sleeping to drop off food. Oops! We so appreciate everything that everyone has done for us. My children are totally bored from how spoiled they were for the time we were gone, now life is so "boring"! We feel very blessed and loved for sure.

**Hopefully you can get the slide show to play in the next post, I know some were having issues, but it did work on mine and for others.

**I apologize if you have called or emailed and I have yet to respond. I am working on it, I promise! I DO appreciate the calls and emails and I WANT to chat with you so hopefully soon!

Mavery Comes Home!

2008-10-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

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Jinhua Scrapbook

2008-10-27T12:49:00.000-07:00

When you adopt from China, you are typically able to find a yahoo group that has parents who have adopted from your orphanage. So with Sage there is a big group of Chenzhou Families, just specific for her orphanage. First thing I did when we found out Mavery would be our daughter was to find her yahoo group. It is a much smaller group than Sage's, because it is a much smaller orphanage. It is so nice to be able to talk to families that have been there, who have children from there etc.. Along with the fact that there are families going ahead of you who might bring you back photos of your child! I decided that as part of my gift to the director, I wanted to make an album of all the children that had been adopted. So I was able to get quite a few pictures from families of their children at adoption, and what they look like today. It ended up being more work than I expected since I put it off till the last minute, along with everything else that I needed to get done. But my sweet friends stepped in to save the day and help me out. Thank you Amy, Megan and Jenny! ;0)

As you can see in the pictures, the staff seemed to really enjoy it. And the director seemed very touched by it. I know that MingMing and SongSong really enjoyed looking through it before we delivered it and pointing everyone out! We plan to send pictures of Mavery home with us along with the next families who go.

This is Home!

2008-10-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

"Created for a place I've never known

This is HOME, Now I'm finally where I BELONG

I've got my heart set on what happens next, I've got my eyes wide and it’s not over yet

WE ARE MIRACLES & we are not ALONE!"

These are the words to a song I love that played over and over in my head as we began to circle over St Louis. As I am holding Maverys little hand, and knowing what is waiting below for us the tears were just flowing.

Home, at last!

We landed right on time and Mavery woke up just as we hit the gate. I changed her clothes quickly and we were off! She was being very quiet and calm getting off this time, lack of sleep finally catching up to her I think.

We got off the plane and we could hear the crowd before we saw them. Sage’s little voice was loud and clear and I saw her and she came running to me before I was even all the way through the walk way. She just threw her little arms around my neck with tears in her eyes saying mommy, mommy over and over. It was SOO sweet. Makenna, Sawyer and Malaine quickly came over to and it was so good to see them and touch them and see how excited they were to see us!

There were over 40 of our family and friends gathered there to greet us with beautiful signs and hugs and smiles. It was such a blessing to be met by this group. Being that this is our 5th child, our 2nd adoption, it could be considered “old news”. But they treated it just like it was our first child with how excited they were for us. Which of course is no surprise. Since we started on this journey of adoption almost 3 years ago, this group has been our cheerleaders, our encouragers, our shoulders to lean on when the wait went on forever. They have believed in us and believed that God would bring our children home to our arms. Once again God whispered to my heart, they love you and they believe in ME. These are the ones who will stand by you as your raise these FIVE. And I know that God was smiling down on us and wrapping us up all together in His love as this group was there to witness us become a family of SEVEN.

One of our friends handed Mavery THE green phone and she knew exactly what it was and was quick to sling it over her wrist in it’s rightful place. Sage on the other hand was none to happy with the pink phone she was given and we heard over and over, “ I want a green phone to.” Some of the girls left to try and find her the green phone and while they founds phones, a different little mermaid, a bling bling phone, they were not THE green phone. So we will be on the search for the green phone when we are out!

Mavery was overwhelmed of course, and wanted me to hold her. Sage was trying to figure it all out and wanted me to hold her. I am cursing myself once again for not working out more to handle almost 60 pounds of girls! At one point they are both crying, I am crying and thinking to myself, WHAT WAS I THINKING? I can’t do TWINS! Thankfully at that point we started heading out to the car.

Mavery did well in the car seat, better than I figured. She cried at first but quickly calmed down with food from Makenna! She sat and just stared at Sage and Sage said “She don’t talk to me, she just stare at me!” Then when Mavery did speak to her in Chinese, Sage said “what she say to me?” We were all getting a good laugh. I told Mark to take a look around him; we still have one more seat open in our van!

We got home to some of the airport crew here and Mavery walked in like she knew exactly where she was! She ran off playing and giggling with the kids. Of course we have enough here to make her feel like she was right back at her orphanage in some ways! ;0) She was saying hello to everyone and giving out hugs. She enjoyed her cake and we all enjoyed just being together here.

It is good to be home, it is good to have Mavery home. We are so thankful that God has once again allowed us to parent one of His blessings, a true miracle & a gift that we will forever treasure.

**I have lots of homecoming photos I want to share and I am working on a slide show I will add soon.

**Also have a few posts I started on our trip that I want to finish and get up. I hope to have them done this week.

**My mom made the girls matching dresses and my cousin Amy made her girls dresses, aren't they adorable?

This is Home-Switchfoot--I've got my memoriesThey're always inside of meBut I can't go backBack to how it wasI believe it nowI've seen too muchBut I can't go backBack to how it wasCreated for a place I've never known[Chorus]This is HomeNow I'm finally where I belongWhere I belongYeah, this is homeI've been searching for a place of my ownNow I've found it,Yeah this is homeYeah, this is homeBelief over miseryI've seen the enemyAnd I won't go backBack to how it wasAnd I've got my heart set on what happens nextI've got my eyes wide and it's not over yetWe are miraclesAnd we're not alone[Chorus]And now after all my searchingAfter all my questionsI'm gonna call it homeI've got a brand new mindsetI can finally see the sunsetI'm gonna call it home[Chorus]Now I know, Yeah this is homeI've come too farNo, I won't go backThis is home

Because I know this is what You want to see!!!

2008-10-24T23:01:00.000-07:00

I have so many homecoming photos & thoughts I want to share, and I am hoping that a few of my friends will send me what pictures they also took so I can post them all at once. But I know you want to see Sage & Mavery together and I thought these pictures give a glimpse into how Mavery is doing here, and how Sage likes her new sister!

Flying Fun!

2008-10-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

Connie, our guide for Guangzhou, SO sweet!

Helping to push ALL that luggage!

China had carts perfect for strollers, and the workers encouraged me to use it as a stroller, even though the big signs had the no baby on cart! ;-)

26 hours from the time we left our hotel in Guangzhou till touch down St Louis. It could have been worse! ;0)

I did not sleep well the night before we left China of course. So many thoughts in my head and SO much excitment. While in China in some ways I had to just keep the kids out my mind because I missed them so much, but now knowing we were headed home I was SO anxious to see them and hold them and just be together as a family of 7! And of course I was dreading the flight.

Our guide picked us up and we headed out. She really was a great guide and so sweet. She talked about how she has always wanted more children (she has one boy that is 12) and since she is not allowed (China, as you know, has a one child policy. Some areas the rules are different. You may have a second if you pay a years salary) she says she loves her job so much because she can't have more children, so she gets to have "all these children". That is the one thing I did not like as much this time. We did not have the same guide the entire trip. I would have loved for Connie to see us meet Mavery and then have her see the changes we saw in those days while in China.

We got to the airport and had another enjoyable time of the chinese people trying to figure us out. One man was rattling off something to Mavery and he finally came over to me and pointed at her and said " your baby?" I said yes. He pointed at Mark and you could tell he was just so confused. I said, I adopted her last week. And he just stood there turning that over. "adopted, adopted, hmmm". I told Mark I was ready to be home just to not be stared at all the time! I do understand the staring, and most of the time I become immune to it. But it is hard, especially when you feel like you are not understanding your child, but everyone else is! Though one thing to note, if you have adopted you know that here in the US you get stared at also, because you are a mixed family & everyone is trying to figure out how you have a chinese baby. But the difference here is that they try to ACT like they are not staring and they won't dare ask you a question because here, we just aren't a friendly to each other people as the Chinese are.

We took off for Shanghai with out any trouble. Mavery did really well on the 2 hours. It was a pain in Shanghai as we had to get our luggage, re check in, take a shuttle, all of that on our own. We did meet up with a family from Tennessee that we enjoyed chatting with. They had met their 5th child, 2nd adoption this week also. It was funny because she came up to me and asked if I lived in Tennesee and I said no. And she said oh my friend told me to look for someone flying who has long hair and their baby would be in big beautiful bows so I thought it had to be you. Come to find out she knows my friend Brenda IN Tennessee and so it was us she was looking for! They had a 15 hour flight ahead of them, so I did not envy them!

IV>>While we had lunch at the airport, Mavery dumped almost a whole bottle of water on my pants. So glad I did put extra clothes in my carry on!

Our plane left for Chicago just a few minutes late. I had been praying that the Lord would bless us with either empty or NICE seat partners on this flight and that prayer was answered. I was SO excited when we got on and in our row was a mom and her 6 year old she had just adopted with the rest of her family right behind us. That turned out to be such a blessing to me. It gave me someone to talk with that of course helped pass some of the time. She homeschools, her children were similar in age, God was very good. Though at one point her 11 year old daughter was sitting in the row with the 6 year old and I could not stop crying thinking how much Makenna would have loved being here and could have helped with Mavery and wahhhh!

As soon as we took off Mavery was out, which was good. We just laid her between us and she slept for a couple of hours. About an hour into the flight the captain said it was going to be rough for awhile. Which you know how that makes you feel. They had just given us drinks when it started getting bumpy. And then bumpier and then they told us the flight attendants could not serve dinner it was to rough. THEN all of a sudden they said "Flight attendandts sit NOW". I was scared to death. Mavery was still sleeping, laying between us. She had her seatbelt on, but I was trying to hold on to her, while also holding my cup of soda and full can of coke. (and yes it entered my mind that I was WEARING the extra pants I packed and the others were wadded up in my carry on wet from the water spill and so what in the world was I going to do for the rest of the day if I am covered and soda, but then I thought I will take soda pants over puke pants which I am going to do if this keeps up!) The plane was doing that dropping, free fall thing. Along with bumpy. At one point my soda was spilling all over me, I am crying and praying and looking at my watch thinking, who at home is even awake at this time, but remembering my friend said she was not sleeping good so reminding myself of that and that surely she at least is up and praying and also trying to remind myself that I have never heard anyone die in a plane wreck from turbulence but the already tired on edge emotional side of me thinking, we took Mavery out of the orphanage and now we are going to kill her on this flight. Also thinking I should have just had the wine like Renee suggested even though I don't drink or at least took some drugs to calm me down because I am losing it! I just kept praying, Lord, you parted the seas and you made the mountains, I KNOW you can get this plane to steady. And thankfully it eventually (a very long time later eventually) did, but that just was not a fun way to start. I kept telling Mark, just tell God you will adopt again IF He calms this plane right NOW! I know, I know we dont' "bargain" with God but let me tell you at that time I was desperate. And I am not sure what Mark talked to the Lord about but I know in the end is when he told me if we adopted again we were going somewhere closer to home!

Overall Mavery did really well better than I expected. But she had alot of moments and when you are in the moments, they are hard to think outside of THAT moment! After the first nap(she woke in the bumps finally) she could NOT fall back to sleep. I should mention that during her nap, (I forgot to do a pullup because she has not needed them at all) she woke up soaked from head to toe as well as was her seat.(pity the poor person getting on after us!) At least it helped pass some time to clean that all up! Though at one point she wanted to switch seats so I got to get that on my clothes to! Mavery just has such a hard time getting to sleep. So eventually you could tell she was exhausted, I think we still had 5 or 6 hours to go and she just started SCREAMING. And she has a very loud scream. And when she is mad, she will not let us console her, she pushes us away. So she is screaming, I am crying, the poor flight attendant comes to try and help but what can she do? (she adopted her son from guatemala, so that was a neat connection and she was very kind to us) Finally I took her out of her seat belt and got her to sit on my lap and watch the tv and that got her to sleep. And then thankfully she did sleep for about 4 hours, so almost to the end. One very annoying thing for our seat was that my overhead light was broke, and would not turn off, so that was shining on us the whole time. I did finally make a tent over her when she was asleep which I think helped keep her asleep. I dozed a little bit here and there, and thought I would sleep out of exhaustion but no luck. I was tired before the bumps started but at that point, I was to scared to relax at all. (NOT that I am trying to scare all my friends getting ready to fly, I am SURE you will have PERFECT flights! And if not just remember, turbulence does not kill you, right?!! ;0) )

Chicago was Ok. Immigrations was not that bad, but we had to get our luggage again, recheck back in, go through security coming OFF the plane AND getting back on, just alot of steps with long lines. Mavery of course is DONE with lines and being confined. Plus trying to carry her all over with a mob of people, I was kicking myself that we had not just brought a stroller with us to china. I am a mess, just done in from the day and thinking we still have to sit in this airport for a few hours and put her back on the plane? But we are almost home, SO close to home!

**One thing that Mavery has learned that gets her out of a situation she does not like is to have to go potty. So every single line, or on the plane or wherever we are, she starts screaming in chinese I have to go pee, while pulling down her pants. So what do you do with that?

We survived Chicago airport with what else but an American meal? Mc Donalds! I could not eat, my nerves were so shot I knew I could not handle food, but Mavery enjoyed my french fries. Along with charming all those around us. We sat and talked to a very nice man for a very long time who Mavery was about in his lap at one point, she is SO not shy! He was talking about how cute she was and I said, you may not think that if you had to fly with us today! He was one of those business men you just pray you are flying with, he was SO nice and understanding.

That was not the kind of men that were on our last flight.

We boarded the plane and as soon as we start down the aisle you can see everyone looking down at their laps praying, PLEASE do not let that kid be near me! An interesting thing was that in China, everyone stared AT us and were all smiley(not all smiley but alot of smiles) and talking to Mavery. Once we hit the American people, man, they were, well, typical I suppose. Not a friendly face on the plane. It may have had to do with the fact that when Mavery realized we were back on a plane she started SCREAMING, while we were still walking the aisle, saying she, guess what? had to go potty. But we had just been I knew she did not, and they were trying to hurry us on to take off. She is WAILING at the top of her lungs and if you have heard her, she has some lungs. She screamed the entire take off but Praise the Lord before we were all the way up she was OUT. I was praying so hard once again, "Lord, I know I am asking for alot here, and quite honestly I will take screaming over turbulence on this flight, but if there is anyway I can have BOTH a calm baby and calm flight, I would be so happy!" She slept the ENTIRE way to St Louis and did not wake up till we hit the gate!

The pictures above are all I got of our day. (Not including homecoming pictures, I do have some of those) Once we got on our long flight, the only thing we pulled from our bag was food for Mavery. And I do not think you would have wanted to see us during the flight. It did cross my mind once we hit Chicago that I should take a picture of her first walk on American Soil, but did I mention I carried her off the plane screaming? Becuase I would not let her walk because there were a zillion others trying to get off, and so that set her off. And then we put her in the line for immigration and well, I am sure you can imagine. And in all reality, Chicago airport in my mind still does not count as home, because St Louis was home so that is where she really first stepped on OUR soil, right?!
More to come...

**I can't get my spellchecker to work, so please ignore the grammar, I just got back home, my mind is not all the way here yet!

Home Again, Home Again...

2008-10-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

I will post soon about our FUN travels, but wanted to at least let you all know, we are home! I will say that the words, "that flight was enough to make sure this is our last child" came from m;y mouth and "IF we adopt again we are going somewhere closer" came out of Marks, so that will give you an idea of how pleasant it was! ;0)

But oh the homecoming, it made it all worthwhile and Mavery walked in our house like she owned the place. Can't wait to share pictures and details!

Goodbye China, for now...

2008-10-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe our journey is coming to an end. But not the end, just the end of our time in China. For our journey WITH Mavery is only just beginning. We can not wait to be a family of 7, to grow together, to settle into life. I feel as if life has just been on hold for so long. It will be a year in November that I saw Maverys face for the first time. And so all that time we have been waiting. Waiting for Mark to say yes, waiting for paperwork, waiting for approval to travel. Waiting, so much waiting. And now that is all over and we see Gods plan for our lives once again.

It is funny this time, I leave more settled in many ways than I did last time. Yet many times over the last few days Mark or I have said, “ next time we are here”. When the shop owners ask us if we will be back in 2 more years, we both just say you never know. Now of course if you ASK Mark he says DONE. And right now, I feel good with that. Yet this time we both leave knowing that our hearts will always be open to what the Lord wants of us. We are holding proof that sometimes you just have to do it. It does not make sense, it might not be easy, but there are children here that do not have families that need us. As I listen to the giggles coming from this little girl tonight, my heart cried for what we almost missed because we thought we were done. What if I had not looked at that list? What if Mark had dug in and said no? What if we listened to those who think 5 kids is ALOT of kids? What if we had said her heart stuff was to scary or to many unknowns? We would have missed out on this gift and already I can’t imagine our life with out Mavery in it. For now she has completed our family and I am thankful to have her.

It has been a different trip this time for sure. Last time I was here, I was in awe of China. It was all so new and amazing. Sage was SO easy and young and she slept and so we carried her around in her baby sling sleeping and we saw China, we enjoyed everything about China. This time, emotionally was so hard on me. To watch your child grieve and hurt and to say goodbye to all she has known, I could never have prepared myself for that. So it was not so much about China this time, it was all about Mavery and what she needed from me. If that makes any sense.

And so in a few hours I say goodbye once again to the land of my daughters. Feeling different than I did last time yet just as in love with a child that God lovingly placed in my arms, and thankful to a mother who made a choice to give her a better life. I am so ready to have all my kids together. I am so ready to say goodbye and get Mavery home.

China will always be in our hearts, and we will always be listening, Always...

**More posts, keep going!

Flight Schedule for Thursday

2008-10-22T08:56:00.000-07:00

Leave Hotel 7:30AM

Depart Guangzhou 9:35 AM

Arrive Shanghai 11:30 AM (this will be 10:30 PM on Wednesday for you all at home)

Depart Shanghai 4:25 PM (3:25 AM Thursday at home)

Arrive Chicago 4:30 PM

Depart Chicago 7:15 PM

Arrive St Louis 8:20 PM AA Flight # 1765

**Mom & Dad, please do not forget Mavery's carseat!!!

**A couple of people have asked us to please tape Sage meeting Mavery, so hopefully we can get that at both angles because I am sure it is to be full of fun! ;0)

** And yes, please meet us at the airport, you know that is what keeps us going on that flight, we can't wait to see faces of HOME! Ah Home, see I already have myself crying again!

Giggles before Bed!

2008-10-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

2008-10-22T08:25:00.000-07:00

Mavery is going to love being in a car seat, this was in our taxi ride today!
Walking the streets of the Island

Hot Spaghetti, but even though it was hot she kept on eating it!
Blowing Bubbles in the water
She is to cute!

She was not going to let me help her with that cone!
Our Diva!

Being Silly!
Putting on her lipstickPlaytime with Daddy is fun!

As we walked down to the breakfast buffet this morning, Mavery was already talking about MingMing as we typically eat breakfast with the Chisum Family every morning. There was a little girl walking in front of us as we entered and she had short hair and Mavery started yelling Ming MING! But of course it was not her as they were already on a plane leaving China. It was a lonely breakfast. Today there were many families here, I know there is a break in the trade fair starting yesterday, so I assume many families are now coming in. Seeing them with their groups and us not having our friends here, made me all the more thankful that we did get to travel the entire trip with the Chisum's. Our last trip we had such a huge travel group and we loved that. We were so glad that we were at least given a small group this time. I like Mark and all, but I also like to have other mommies around to! ;0)
After breakfast we headed out to the Electronics Market. I am not sure how to describe this place. Think huge mall but more like a flea market maybe, also streets filled with shops. Unlike anything I have seen, or actually anything I care to see again! Mark had been last time and thought taking the stroller would be to difficult. This coming from the person that the 30 pound baby will not go to, meaning I will be forced to carry her the entire time. I thought, oh it can't be so bad, I can do it. I must be so giddy with the thought that we are going home I lost my mind because it was NOT fun. Letting Mavery walk is like letting a 2 year old walk. Does not want to stay with you, wants to touch, wants to climb, jump, you get the picture. And of course we are the only white people in the whole place, so we are as always, the star attraction. It is hot, it is dirty, and it is not that much fun because no one understands what we are looking for. Mavery has to potty, of course, and I thought I might faint when I walked in the bathroom and saw the cockroaches running all over. But if you don't take her potty, she screams and pulls her pants down. I am still disgusted and to be honest thankful for a squatty potty at that moment for her. We did get a new camera lens we had been wanting for a good price and it does work! We had Mc Donalds for lunch, which was a welcome treat, have I mentioned we are done with Chinese food?
We made it back(finding a taxi, oh don't get me started!) and while Mavery napped I finished up shopping. For those of you who wanted me to bring you squeaky shoes, I could not fit them in, but I did get the girls card and she said she will ship them for a good price. So, I may be placing an order when we get home and maybe we can do a group ship! I cut WAY back on this trip, though Mark is not so sure. We did buy an extra suitcase, but we knew we would need to. Buying for 5 children is a lot of work! When I got back to the room Mark said Mavery had woke up about 15 minutes earlier and was not to happy I was not in the room. Looks like I will have an attachment for awhile.
Our last dinner we were so undecided. While we wanted to want chinese food, we just could not do it. So we decided to try a place we had wondered about all week. I think it is called Station Restaurant and it said it was a Western Restaurant. It is on the edge of the island, right next to the Italian Place. And while the girl was the sweetest thing ever who stared at us (tonight we had 4 watching, it was a slow night there!) I would not recommend it. We had steak, which was ok, but the portions were so small and the price to high. And it was SLOW. I was convinced they were out hunting for a cow to serve us. But it is a cute place, very classy. Well besides the disco balls, those were funny. Oh and the bug zapper right behind us that had me jumping in my seat every 2 minutes! ;0) We decided we should have just ordered pizza in as dining with Mavery is really just paying for heartburn for the most part! ha!
We ended our evening with ice cream from the White Swan Deli. We got Mavery an ice cream cone since she was so excited about the first one. I got a Hagan daas ice cream bar. Her cone was $1, mine was $8! Well, which do you think she wanted? What's mine is hers and whats hers is hers! The $8 one was so much better. And yes we do know that there is a warning out on dairy products in China, the contamination and all that. We asked the americans living in Shanghai about that and they said they still have dairy and that we would be fine as long as it is in limited quantities. Just in case you are worried about it!
We enjoyed a walk around the water looking at the lights and the Pearl River. So hard to believe our journey here is ending. I have many thoughts about our time in China, and will save that for the next post. But some things you can pray for us if you feel led over the next 24 hours..

Smooth flights and easy connections. We have a 4 hour layover in Shanghai tomorrow, then the 14 hour flight into Chicago, with another layover there before going to St Louis. We are just praying that nothing is delayed and we are on time everywhere we go.

Mavery. I can't even begin to imagine how she is going to survive this. She just does not sit still, she does not like to be strapped in, she gets antsy. She did so well on the flight in here so I am prayerful she will be ok. But no matter how you look at it, it is a LONG flight.

So that means pray for ME and my sanity! I have packed tons of snacks as she eats ALOT. And suckers and toys and anything I can think of that will amuse her for that time. I can't give her anything to help her "sleep" because I want the doctor to check her out first. She does fall asleep in the bus or in taxis on me, so I think she will sleep some. Oh I hope so anyways!

Mark is not feeling great. His stomach has been bothering him. And no he did not even eat the ice cream. So if you would think of him, that would be great!

And pray for our kids back home as we get to see them again! I know we are in for ALOT of adjustments. But we are ready for it and ready to be together!

Countdown HOME has begun!

US Consulate and Goodbyes

2008-10-21T07:26:00.000-07:00

This afternoon we went to the US Consulate where Mavery was sworn in as a US Citizen. When we touch down in Chicago it is all official. It is a pretty quick and painless appointment. The odd thing was this time the room was not even half as full as last time. And the interesting thing is that I would think it is safe to say that more than half the families there were for special needs kids. There were not many babies at all, the majority of them around Maverys age.

It was a very emotional thing for me though holding Mavery and being surrounded by all these families who have come together in the exact same way. All these families who have traveled half way around the world, and fallen in love with children that 2 weeks ago we had not physically even touched. It was just another reminder of the amazing God we have, who forms families in this way. I wish everyone could experience it.

After we returned we said goodbye to the Crawford family that we had met here in Guangzhou with our agency. They were staying at a different hotel so we did not get to see them as much as we would have liked, but we sure enjoyed getting to know them and their little girl Ella.

We had our last dinner with the Chisum's at the Chinese restaurant here in the hotel that we had enjoyed so much on our last trip. We once again had the fried pigeon and it is really good, but just so much work for so little meat.

**One sidenote for you. In china, they do not serve the food as they do at home, where everyones meals come out at one time. Here it is all served in the middle of the table, and dishes come out one at a time. So you might get your pigeon, and once you are about done with that your rice might come out, then about the time you finish that, another meat dish comes out, then noodles. It is different. I do like the family style though, you always get to sample everything.

They had put us in a room by ourselves (I wonder if they heard rumors from the breakfast staff about the wild child, so when they saw us coming they knew we needed our own room!) Plus we had 2 ladies that carried in our food, and just stared at us the whole time. Talk about unnerving. How do you eat pigeon with chopsticks anyways, and try to look neat about it all? Plus trying to control Ms Mavery (who was full of it tonight at dinner, have I mentioned how far she can wing a chopstick across the room!) At one point Mark tried to take Mavery for a walk and the lady walked over and covered up the table with a napkin where she had been sitting and made a mess! Maybe this place is above us! haha! But the food is really good if you are coming here. It is called Jade River, FYI. The Fried corn with pine nuts is great as were the noodles with soy sauce. The meat is good to. And try the pigeon! ;0)

We hated saying goodbye to the Chisum family, their flight out is early and though we love them, we told them we will not be getting up at 6am to see them off! I know it is not a forever goodbye, we will see them again. But it is hard to think that Ming Ming and SongSong will now be apart for a very long time. It makes my heart sad to think that SongSong may not remember MingMing as time goes on. Of course we will do all we can to help her remember, we can skype and we plan to visit as often as possible. But I wonder if when she sees her again if we will hear this little high voice screaming Ming MING while she runs to her. The next time they see each other they will not be speaking the language they know now. I really wish we lived closer, that they could see each other all the time. But I am forever thankful that the Lord allowed these 2 little "sisters" to walk out of their "home" together, into their mamas arms together, and spend this time in China together. I have often wondered what must be going on in their heads when they look at each other. "Can you believe this is happening to us! Did you ever imagine this is what the world was like outside of Jinhua? What is going on here!" We know that the Lord once again had the perfect plan laid out all along as we have been able to be with this sweet sweet family.

So today was again emotional for me. We pulled out our suitcases tonight and started packing. Mavery and I sat at looked at her pictures of Jinhua. I am back to tears again. I miss my kids, I want us all home together, but it is hard to say goodbye.

Tomorrows Agenda: R E L A X!! Adoption stuff is all over. We have NOTHING to do! I think Mark wants to taxi to the electronics market. I have some more shopping to finish up, but sadly no space to put anything else. An extra suitcase is on the list. We are going to sleep in, sit back and enjoy our last day in China. And try really hard not to think about the flight home with Mavery. I was telling someone before we left that I could not imagine Sage on this flight and if Mavery acts anything like Sage... Well they said "she won't be as comfortable with you, so she is not going to be as wild." HAHAHAHA! Is it us? Do we just make wild kids? I can promise you this one is not shy, not calm, and will have no trouble what so ever running down the aisles of the plane. Leigh told us today we need to just take on a case of earplugs and offer them to our neighbors before we sit down!

Red Couch Photos

2008-10-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

Adopt from China, you must have the red couch photo done. Just a tradition that has been passed on through the years. We were very happy to see that red couch, which signifies many things. The reminder that we sat on that couch 2 years ago with Sage, the reminder that the ending of our journey is almost near, the reminder of all the children and families that have come before us, and will come after us for their children. How I would love to know the stories that have grown in this very place!

Tuesday-Swimming!

2008-10-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

We decided to walk around the pool today and dip our toes in. Mavery was enjoying it so much, we wanted to go ahead and see if she would swim. We figured she would not because of how bad bath time is, but thought we would try anyways. I did pack the adorable suit and all! She was fine with feet in, and even got in for a few seconds, but was soon out putting on her shoes. Ms Emma on the other hand was a little fish and her giggles were the cutest thing ever as she played in the water!

What a difference a week makes!

2008-10-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

One week ago we met a very sad little girl who lost everything she knew. Today, she is smiling, laughing, trusting, giving kisses, screaming Baba, and putting us on our knees in awe of what our Father has given to us. Tonight Leigh and I talked about how really amazing it is, how wonderful our girls have done in just one week. A week ago, my heart was aching for how Mavery was hurting. Today I am just full of JOY that she is mine, she is truly smiling with her whole being and the steps we have made. In just days I will have all 5 of my kids in my arms, at home, right where we are all supposed to be. I can't wait!

**sorry I keep posting so much at once, 2 more below this one!

A girl in her Pearls

2008-10-20T07:00:00.001-07:00

Mavery was not in the mood for pictures tonight, WAY to wild! So I did not get great ones of her in her pearls. I put up a picture of Sage here at the White Swan 2 years ago! I hope someday they appreciate all the work we had to do just for a strand of pearls! ;0)

Monday

2008-10-20T05:41:00.001-07:00

Sitting in my backpack ready to go!

Trying hard not to giggle!
She had so much fun on this zebra, so I see some fights at our house over Sage's zebra next week!
White Swan playroom is fun!
Having fun at the park today!
Isn't that precious, she is hugging the statue!

trying to figure it out
How about a dance?
To sweet
Look at all those pearls! (our guide has the brown purse)
Walking Street and there are at least a million out walking!

Trying to get every piece of jewelry on!

This morning we had to be in our room to wait for Connie to call from the US Consulate to let us know that all was well with our paperwork. She said it was perfect and it is now all official on the US side besides our swearing in ceremony, which is Tuesday afternoon. We decided to get out for a little bit before our trip to the Pearl Market. We played in the hotel playroom and then walked around outside. We walked over to Starbucks to grab a quick lunch. (Since Danny's Bagels does not deliver, Starbucks is a nice alternative for just a sandwich, just an FYI)

We headed over to the Pearl Market with much grumbling from the men. I have to say I miss my mom and my friend Monte when it comes to shopping here. They are the 2 I know that actually can outshop ME and enjoy shopping the way I do! ;0) I did get Mavery her pearls after much work. Connie took us over to the Number 9 Walking Street. Basically just a ton of shops. We were all so tired and worn out, we decided to head to the toy market instead, which is a little calmer, by chinese standards anyway! We were on the hunt for the chinese candles that turn into fireworks, but never did find them.

Dinner was back at the Italian place.

Exciting day huh? ;0) But I gave you lots of pictures to make up for the boring post!

We are winding down that is for sure, and ready to get home.

** I added so many of Mavery with those statues because she was just TO cute! She loves kids and I think misses all her friends so much even statues are fun! ;0)

**Also keep meaning to say, we brought that Flip Video camera and we LOVE it! It is CHEAP, tiny, fits in your pocket and so easy to plug into your laptop and download quickly on. That is what all the videos are from and if you are coming to China, I would try to get one. It was suggested on my agency board by another mom and I am so glad she told about it.

**White Swan is NOT giving the Coming home barbies right now, which is a big bummer to me, I wanted Mavery to have one just like Sage has one. But I talked to the manager and he said they expect to get them again, so he said I could have one shipped to me IF they come in. For a fee of course. I know some think they are silly, but I like barbies! ;0)

Picture Fun with Mavery

2008-10-19T07:44:00.000-07:00

My pile of shopping from today! But the smile is better than anything I got at those stores!
This is her "princess pose". Hello Friends!
Made in China and forever ours!
Our little Empress, she got the barrettes for free at a shop, all she had to do was hold them out at smile at the lady!
The smile that melts my heart to see! We waited so long for that!

Ready, set GO! (note the belly, is that not to cute our Buddha baby!) A girl in her jewels!

She likes her squeaky shoes!

Mark says I am taking to many pictures, that everyone will be bored of looking. I told him it is my blog and no one HAS to look! So I am sorry if I am "boring" you, but thought you might enjoy our photo shoot tonight. She is SUCH a girly girl and loves trying on clothes, shoes, JEWELRY, bows, lipstick, you name it! She is kind of more "reserved" at times in the day, but in the evenings we are having so much fun, and she just makes me laugh!

**Make sure to scroll down, added a post of our day and 2 videos! Hopefully they work for you as we are not able to view it on the blog from here.

Mavery getting ready for bath

2008-10-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

Mavery & Esther on Skype 10/16

2008-10-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

Sunday = Chinese Animals

2008-10-18T23:55:00.000-07:00

Matching dresses made by Grammy!

On the train

You may slap or you may tap, but please do not flap the glass!
Mavery eats so well with a fork and spoon!
We ordered WAY to much food!
Can someone please tell me what smile is in Chinese? But aren't they sweet in their matchy clothes? Thanks Grammy!

She LOVES it when she sees kids her age and wanted to join in the fun!

Amazing, did you know that the Chinese animals look exactly the same as our animals at home? Joking of course. First did I mention it is HOT here? In the 90's, so it feels like a typical miserable St Louis summer day. We drove to the Animal Safari and we were sweating before we even got inside. Thankfully Mavery will sit in the stroller or we would never have made it. The park is HUGE. We started out on a tram that takes you through alot of the animals up close. Closer than our zoos at home, so that was pretty neat. Mavery enjoyed pointing at all of them, as long as there was distance between us! After the tram ride you walk. With about 1000 other people. While trying to push a stroller. And there are no rules. If your stroller is in someones way, they just kick it out of their way. We did get our picture taken with a baby white tiger which was neat. And we saw the pandas, which is the only reason I cared to come to the park. If you are coming to China with older children, there is a huge area with rides and even a water park. Try not to hit it on the weekend though, so busy!

After the zoo we came back for naptime. Getting Mavery to sleep is still a battle, and I am pretty sure we are getting cussed out in Chinese during these times. Hopefully someday we can do this with out a huge war. While our kids napped Leigh and I went out shopping. Mark figured if I was on my own (with out him) I would spend less and that if I was with Leigh she might keep me from buying much. But he forgets that now most shops can tell me the price in American dollars, which is what I can comprehend! We are going to need another suitcase no doubt. It is just so hot and the shopping is just to much work, so you can't last long.

Dinner was at The Cow and Bridge, Thai food. Why is it called Cow Bridge I have no idea. The sweet and sour chicken with cashew is pretty yummy there as were the fried wontons and fried squid. (just in case you are taking notes for your trip!)

Mark and I did MORE shopping after dinner, and Mavery is not helpful as she chats with the chinese workers and we think she is probably telling them, "these people are suckers, don't worry, they will buy whatever you offer! I was excited to find my old favorite squeaky shoe store, I thought it had closed down. (can't remember her name, used to be in the courtyard) But she just moved over by Jennys place. Best selection of shoes, best prices. $5 a pair. I got so ripped off yesterday on shoes. Oh well. Remember last trip, 30 pairs of squeakys? I am not bringing home that many this time. 2 girls in them might be enough to send me over the edge. But the shoes are just way cuter than at home and so cheap! I WISH I could get a whole suitcase home.

Tomorrow is full of.... MORE SHOPPING! ;0) We are going to the pearl market and the walking street. (I have no idea what that means, I assume walking and lots of shopping!) I am pretty sure I will be shopped out after that. In the morning we have to stay in our room and wait for Connie to take our paperwork to the Consulate. This means it is getting more official and we are getting closer to HOME!

** Does anyone know what happened to A Gift from China? The shop that donated the money to orphans? It is barred up and we have seen no activity there. Though there is still stuff inside. I loved that place and I am bummed. Which reminds me, we were told that Shamien Island is getting ready to all be renovated, and so many of the shops are being moved or shut down. It makes me sad for these people who have made their life's living here.

Chinese Italian, Who knew?!

2008-10-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

French Fries, the American Diet!
Being Silly!
Mark thought she was going to pull her pants down and squat but they are just to big so she was pulling them up!
Dipping Breadsticks in Garlic
Spaghetti is Yummy!

Today we spent shopping and eating, my 2 favorite combinations! We had lunch at Lucy's Cafe. I know that many families like Lucys, but I am just not that excited about it. But we figured it would be something easy for lunch today. It is American Fare served with bad service! ;0) I liked it as much as I remembered from last time. Mavery enjoyed the french fries though, especially the ketsup and it was quite the art form to watch her "painting" with it. After lunch we ventured out to begin shopping. I have a 3 page list with me, which does not make Mark happy. But I bought so many things for Sage, now I need the same things for Mavery, don't you agree?

I was reminded of how NOT FUN shopping here is. I just want to pay a price, I don't want to fight over the price. And places are not negotiating nearly as much as before. Which is odd, since there are no families here shopping, you would think they would want to sell more. And shopping with a tiny tornado just adds to the fun. I was pretty sure a few times we would be buying the entire store before it was over as she was trying to throw the glass bottles. My favorite store today was Jenny's place for those of you getting ready to head over. She was wonderful, converting prices to american dollars for me! AND they kept Mavery busy which helped a ton. We bought quite a bit there and promised we would be back. At that point Mavery would not ride in a stroller so that was making it hard. That and Mark being, well Mark who hates shopping AND spending money and it was not all that fun! I won't even go there!

Oh for those of you who liked Michael, who had the tiny shop next to the tennis courts, he moved to the main road and has a huge shop now! We just think he is so sweet!

For dinner we went with the Chisums to an Italian Place that many had suggested to us. For those coming it is called La Dolce Vita and it is a bit of a walk from the WS but worth it. It is at No 1 shamian street, Liwan Area. We walked in and the atmosphere had me nervous because remember how Mavery has been at dinners so far. It is "fancy. " But overall she did well. She LOVES spaghetti and the breadsticks. She eats so good with a fork I am amazed. She seems so much older when you watch her do some things. The food was delicious. I had spaghetti with meat sauce and while I have no idea what type of meat(and might not want to know), it was great. Mark had some penne dish with spicy sauce he said was good. Leigh got pizza and shared and that was yummy to. Mavery did well till she was done, then she is DONE. She dumped her water bottle all over, then escaped her seat and was running around. She and I are doing alot of waiting outside while everyone finishes and pays! Mark said the sodas were almost as much as the dinners and the water was even more, isn't that funny?

We did borrow a stroller from a shop and got her in it and that was very helpful. Tomorrow we are going to the animal safari so that should be fun. Except Mavery does not like dogs, so I hope she likes the animals! It will be interesting to see how she reacts to our dog at home because we have seen some tiny puppies that were adorable and she won't go near them.

It is HOT HOT HOT here! Marks says he thinks it is not that hot, but I am the one lugging around sumo baby so he has no say! She DID let him carry her for a tiny bit today, all baby steps I know.

Saturday-Medical Exam

2008-10-17T20:38:00.001-07:00

I forgot to tell you, WE FOUND THE PHONE!!! It WAS in the van yesterday, she was so excited! Though this morning she threw it and it broke, but it still stays together enough to keep her happy. I am thinking Sage is going to need a matching, I can already see the fights! The cutest thing, when I sent it, I made a sticker of Mark and I to put on the phone. It is no longer sticky but it is in the bottom of the purse and she looks in there and says, Mama, Baba! LOVE that!

Oh I slept so good last night and did not wake up in pain! The breakfast buffet is just as delicious as I remember. The dumplings, the eggs, the french toast, the view of the river while we eat and the waterfall behind us. Have I mentioned how HAPPY we are to be here! Our room was so cool all night, so nice. Yes, you CAN request a western mattress here. Our guide last time let us in on that blessed secret! They bring in this thick pad type thing and put it under your sheets. Connie, our guide here in Guanghzou, said she has never heard of anyone requesting that before and did not know it could be done. She said she has done this 10 years and said thank you for sharing that so she can let all families know. It still is not my bed at home, but it really helps alot. So if you are coming to the White Swan, ask for a western mattress, or a softer mattress. They are happy to help you be more comfortable here! In fact, they actually seem honestly excited to help you in anyway they can! Maybe money CAN buy happiness! ;0)

For those of you who have been to an Opryland Hotel, that is similar to what the White Swan reminds me of in some ways. The beautiful gardens in the center. Well besides that every person here is Chinese of course, that is not the Opryland! And the rooms here are nicer, marble everywhere. I know some people are not that impressed with the WS, but maybe we have just been lucky with nice rooms & amazing service because we think it is wonderful!

It is interesting so far we have only seen one other mom here adopting at the hotel. Last time there were families EVERYWHERE. We were the majority of guests. I asked Connie our guide if this was because of the trade fair and she said adoption has been so slow now. There is another family here with our agency that has a little girl a few months younger than Mavery. They are staying at the Victory Hotel which is also here on the Island. Maybe more will be here today. Also I have seen a ton of Chinese Families here with children. Which we did not see much of last time. We know there are trade fairs going on here, but I have no idea what that means besides that I am paying a small fortune for our hotel stay. hehe!

After breakfast (and I should add that we had to wake Mavery up to go eat, that makes me happy! Not the waking her up, the she was still sleeping at 8:00AM!) we went for her medical exam. Again, last time the line was out the door of families adopting. This time we just saw 2 other families there besides our group. Just odd. So they do the medical exam and Mavery was not a happy camper when they took her from me to weigh her or measure her. I don't even know what it said because she was upset and they were speaking chinese and so I will just tell you she is chunky, how is that? They said her ears were clear and then they took us to the last station to listen to her heart. He listens, then reads her reports, then listens some more. Then writes, then listens, then measures her bump, then writes. Then says, follow me. Which I did not remember from last time so that had me nervous. He takes us to another room, which I knew was not normal, and starts rattling off to another doctor in chinese. If you have heard chinese speak to each other, they can sometimes sound, what is the word, hmm, hard to explain. Almost upset I guess. Next thing there are 2 doctors listening to her rattling off to each other and I am getting in panic mode. Thankfully our guide walked in and I asked her to please tell me what they were saying. She said they say her heart murmer is heavy on one side and that they want to make sure you understand you need to take her to a heart specialist right away when you get home.

I think this was just a reminder for me that this little girl is not a healthy infant like we were handed 2 years ago. She has had MAJOR heart surgery. Which leads me to all kinds of emotional thoughts wondering how that was for her. And while we believe she is fine, we don't really know everything that is going on inside of her little body. We had her file looked at by heart doctors, they gave us positive reports and we believe them. But until she is actually looked at by our heart doctor in St Louis, we just need to keep on praying that God would just heal that heart, and that nothing else will ever have to be done. Just like the verse above, HE heals the broken hearted! We know that He holds Mavery in the palm of His hands and that He can make that "heavy heart murmur" into nothing. I am honestly not worried, but will be happy to have her seen by our doctor just to confirm that I am right. And I would appreciate all your prayers for Maverys heart too!

Mark did paperwork today while Mavery and I looked at the "fish" and the water. Mark got big points with Connie because she said Dads never do that part, always moms! First of all, I am not sure Ms Mavery would have been happy if I left her. BUT, Mark does handle all the paperwork of the adoptions. I talk him into adopting, then stick him with all the work! ;0) But I think it is an even trade since I am the one carrying Mavery everywhere! He is amazing, there is no doubt. And Mavery is figuring that out to I think. Still won't let him carry her, but he sure is good for playtime!

We did skype with the kids today and that was a blast! No crying involved this time! Sage was sleeping but Mavery was in rare form and I think the family is all nervous now of what life is going to really be like. All along we assumed Mavery was going to have this quiet laid back personality. We thought, Sage is SO spicy, God will surely give us a calm child. Well God sure has a sense of humor and I think He gave us Sage to prepare the way for what was yet to come! Those 2 together, I am pretty sure I will NEVER leave the house again! I think there is going to be quite a bit of fighting going on with 2 strong personalities. But I also think there will be lots of giggles and sister secrets and I can't wait to see what the Father does in their hearts for each other as they grow. It is going to be a rough adjustment I am sure, but we can't wait to be together, all 7 of us!

Ok, this post turned out longer than I planned so I better end it. She is napping so I thought I better take advantage! I still have more on my mind so you will hear more soon! And will do pictures later, Mark gets annoyed with me if I download them at different times of the day. It messes up how he has them organized. I guess I can't complain since he is doing a good job getting them on!

Goodbye Hangzhou-Friday Day

2008-10-17T16:38:00.000-07:00

Silk Worms

Peter entertaining our kids!
Where we ate lunch, doesn't this look like a fun place for a wild child!?
Dessert? I think they said it was beans on ice, I did not make it for dessert!
Goodbye Hangzhou

Last time at the park. She likes Baba(daddy) until he wants to hold her or carry her. She plays with him, sits on his lap, calls him Baba, just wants me to carry or hold her. Which is ok.

A view of our hotel.
A wedding is going on at the hotel today.
Hangzhou

Mavery sleeps all night long once asleep, though she does whimper some in her sleep. She slept in till 730, (and I slept in FINALLY!) and then I pulled her in bed with me where she fell back to sleep. Well; she is RESTLESS and I got out of bed and she fell OUT of bed asleep. Talk about a rude awakening! So that started our morning out sad again. She was just back in that place. Maybe she sensed that we were leaving Hangzhou behind, moving on in her journey.

After breakfast Peter took us to The Silk Factory. Hangzhou is known for having the best silk in the world. So we were walked through the process of how silk was made. Now you remember I am not that into details. But I do remember the part where they talked about how good silk is for the skin and showed us a ladies hands and how perfect they were. I wondered if this lady enjoyed her job, showing off her hands all day to people! We were able to stretch silk and it actually was interesting. Then of course they take you to a part to buy silk. No bargaining! ;0) The nice thing is they ship and we know this is necessary as our suitcases are already full. I had sent so many things to Mavery ahead of time, that now we had all her stuff. Sage's province was known for embroidery and we have some beautiful wall hangings from there. This time we bought these pillows that turn into a blanket along with sheets. They were very sad they could not talk me into the big blanket. I told them I was out of money just from the sheets and she said, oh just put it on your credit card! They know us American's well don't you think? We were thankful Peter was there to entertain our children, and I think the workers were also so they could sell us more!

Peter took us to lunch and ordered for us. The thing about Chinese food is that the taste is REALLY good. But there are so many bones and not much meat. And they bring out the entire animal with it. So heads and all. It is SO much work to eat, and to feed a 2 year old trying to peel shrimp, tear meat off a bone. Because remember, you are only given chop sticks and I am just not good enough with them to peel shrimp or cut up the meat for her off a bone. So I am using my fingers, which I am pretty sure is not the best table manners, added to the fact that they don't give you a ton of napkins like at home, and asking for things is "challenging". I should add that our guide ordered for us, but then left. I tried to get him to join us but he said he needed to go have beer and smoke. So that should tell you what we do to the poor guy! ;0) I told him smoking is very bad for you, and he said, "we know that in China. I only smoke a little bit". Whatever! Eating out is quite a treat with SongSong as she does not like to sit long. And we went in the bathroom at least 4 times during lunch. Which by the way was the cleanest bathroom I had seen so far! Lunch ended with some sort of dessert thing, but I left at that time to get wild woman out of the room.

We spent the rest of the day packing up to leave for Guangzhou. Just in case you wonder... In Chinese adoption, you are in province (kind of like state) that you get your child in while her passport is being processed. Then you must go on to Guangzhou to finalize the American side of the adoption. A required medical exam, get a visa, and she becomes a US citizen basically on this side so that when she touches down in the USA it is all official.

As we were getting ready to leave the hotel room, and Mavery was looking outside, I just lost it all over again. While I was not crazy about our hotel, this is the place that I met Mavery. This is the city that she got a mama and a daddy and her little life changed forever and ever. This is the place we saw a sad, scared, MAD little girl open up little by little and let us in. This is the place where she blindly trusted 2 white people who can't understand a word she says, nor can she understand us, but believed that we were going to take care of her. A place where she came and said goodbye to all she has ever known and loved. It is a place were our Father once again led us to, held us all tight and bound us together in ways that will never be broken. Hangzhou will always be special to us for these many reasons.

Beautiful Mavery

2008-10-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

HOME SWEET HOME, I mean Guangzhou!

2008-10-17T08:48:00.000-07:00

She looks mad, but really the thing is, she KNOWS when the camera lights up it is going off so she does this face and then laughs! This is her on the flight. She is holding a sucker. I did get our seatmate rolling her eyes when I offered her the sucker for screaming. I felt so much like I was at home with that eye rolling! ;0)
Sweet Emma, she was so calm on the flight! Mark was next to her and I especially enjoyed seeing Jeff rip open the barf bag at one moment for Emma, but it was a false alarm!
Bus ride to the hotel. She is pretending to sleep!

Our room, doesn't it just make you happy to know we are happy here!
Our view of the Pearl River.
Hand Picked by God just for us! And by putting on her shoes she thinks she will get out of going to bed, even though it is almost midnight!
Falls asleep in our bed, then gets moved to her crib. Whatever works, right?

Ahhh, it feels good to be back here! We are at the White Swan hotel and though we are paying a small fortune and may never leave our house again after this trip, we are SO happy we went with this hotel. We KNOW this place. It just felt so good coming back here to the Island and walking through the door of the White Swan. And requesting a king bed with a river view, and actually getting it. Or asking for a western mattress, and getting it. And taking a HOT shower that was not just a dribble of water, and being able to run my laundry across the street to "old friends". Oh and our room is cold! (our Hangzhou room was almost 80 degrees there all week and those of you who spend time at our house know that we like it COLD!) And not smoky, nor was the hallway. Can you tell, we are HAPPY!! We both just walked in and breathed a sigh of relief. Plus the fact that we are almost HOME helps alot to!

The flight went well, really well actually. Mavery started throwing a fit when I first put the seatbelt on her, but calmed down pretty quickly and did WAY better than I imagined. I had to keep her busy, and the young girl on the other side of her probably did not appreciate the sucker Mavery stuck to her sweater, or the fact that Mavery refused to let her sleep, did I mention she is NOT shy AT ALL! Oh she is SO much like Sage it is not even funny.

One interesting thing about adopting a child old enough to talk in a country where you don't speak the language is that she can carry on a conversation with everyone around us and we just have no clue what she is saying, nor what they are saying back. We are pretty sure she is saying, you should get a load of these white people. I whimper, they give me ANYTHING I want! They carry me everywhere I want to go, (or the mama does) and they have no clue how to speak, they talk in this jibber jabber that just makes me laugh! She is a charmer for sure.

I have more to add about our last day in Hangzhou, but I can't keep my eyes open another second. It is midnight here and we have our medical exam early in the morning. Have I mentioned how HAPPY we are to be here! ;0) I can already taste that breakfast buffet, YUM!

Goodnight is no fun

2008-10-16T06:12:00.000-07:00

We had a quiet evening. We met the Chisums for dinner on the rooftop which was just beautiful. We figured this was a safe place to dine since Mavery was so wild at lunch, and had NO NAP today. They have these cool little rooms on the roof, I guess you can reserve them. We did not know that and they were full, but if you are coming to the Lakeview, keep this in mind. The view is spectacular. We were hoping to see the light show on the water, but no luck. Though we did not stick around long to find out if it ever would start. It was a buffet dinner, with no labels, but we figure sometimes it is better that way. No idea what you are eating, just try it and if it is good, don't think about it just enjoy! The chef making meat comes around to your table with fresh meat on the sticks every once in awhile. Do you want some chicken? Sure. Do you want some sausage? Sure. Do you want some cow tongue? WHAT? Uh, no, since that literally is in the shape of a tongue on your stick. If Mark said yes, I was going to change tables. He asked us some things we could not understand, and were in shapes that were questionable, so we skipped alot of things. .

SongSong was very quiet at first, I am pretty sure half asleep, which we thought was a good thing. Feed her, get her up to bed. Well protein does the girl wonders and all of a sudden she is running around the rooftop like a wild woman. Might I add that the edge is just an edge, no glass, so that was stressful. For those of you who know my Sage, imagine her in one of her spicy moods, on a rooftop fancy restaurant and that is what we had. The difference being is that Mavery is yelling at everyone in Chinese, saying who knows what with this cackling laugh. We are both sweating by the time we are ready to go, and the thought of our flight to Guangzhou tomorrow has us both scared. We are trying to talk the Chisums into letting her sit with MingMing for the flight, I am pretty sure they are not going for it! ha!

We get back to the room, sure she will crash and she is not looking tired one little bit. So we start packing and trying to play "calmly" so she might settle down. Not happening. Now I know they had her on a routine, and I know for 2 years old she HAS to sleep! So we try putting her in her bed, she climbs out. I try to lay with her, she refuses. I try to lay her in my bed with out me, she refuses. She screams and screams if we even try to get her to bed.

So what do you do? We do not want to upset her and ruin the steps we have made with her. However, we know she needs sleep. We finally kept putting her back in her bed, she screams, so we said, (as if she gets it) my bed or your bed. (we do lots of charades) So she lays down with me, but refuses to let me touch her, and whimpers herself to sleep. Which only took about 2 minutes once she stayed laying down. I am not against her sleeping with me at all, but that is not what she wants. She just does not want to lay down period.

Let me know if you have any ideas. Sage slept so well in China and is still such a good sleeper. We had others who were not so great, but obviously what worked for them is not going to work for a child who just met us 3 days ago.

Tomorrow we are going to the silk market with our guide and then leaving for Guangzhou tomorrow evening. Our flight does not land till 830 so it will be a late night. Pray for us if you will. I can not imagine what she is going to be like on that plane! I am sure I will have a fun blog after that ride! ;0)

Squatty Potty 101

2008-10-16T01:52:00.000-07:00

If you have no idea what a squatty potty is when I talk about them, let me explain it to you. Actually just see the above photo. I had to go back to our last trip for a picture because this time I only get to enter a bathroom with Mavery and I can't balance her and the camera in there. There are no hooks to hang your things on, as if that would surprise you since there is no seat to even sit on!

Now I am in no way making fun of chinese culture here, I am serious about that. But I just can't get into this potty thing. Call me spoiled or whatever you wish, I don't like it. They are in stalls, or at least all of them I have used. They do not have toilet paper, so that to me is just "different". They come in many shapes and sizes, but all similar to above, meaning they are on the ground and you squat over them to use it. Some have "foot rests" on the side, not sure what is the fancier version!

Let me go back to the first day I met Mavery and I had to take her to the bathroom. Here I am holding her over the pot, squatting in front of her, our foreheads touching, and me staring into her beautiful brown eyes, while she is giving me the look, like, so you are who I get stuck with huh? All the while I am praying I do not fall over into the mess that is the floor and then thinking what am I going to use for Toilet Paper because there is none?

Next day we go to a bathroom on the way to Jinhua, we walk into the bathroom and Emma walks in the stall and squats.

FACING THE WALL.

WHICH IS NOT THE WAY I WAS HOLDING MAVERY!

No wonder the child was hysterical with me!

Maybe I am the only dummy who does not know you don't face the way you would on a toilet, you face the wall. But at least I know that Leigh did not know this either, we were both clueless. (and I am sure she is going to love that I shared this on my blog! hehe!)

And what I don't get about this is that you face the toilet, towards the trash can right at your face, which is gross.

Have I mentioned that Mavery find it great fun to visit EVERY single bathroom we can, and I always pray it will be a "western toilet" and sometimes I get lucky, most times I don't.

So, if you are coming to China, I suggest you practice your squatting, and be certain to pack toilet paper because you will need it! Or if you are like me, just practice stretching your bladder as much as possible so you can stick to your hotel toilet only! ;0)

Thursday Day

2008-10-15T22:39:00.000-07:00

Our Guide Peter, we are keeping him on his toes for sure! I especially liked today when I asked him what Mavery was saying and he said, "she said she has to pee." ;0)
The Chisum Family
Silly Mavery, happy that she has food!
Our Beautiful Girl
This is the I am speaking Chinese at you and you are not answering me!
Having fun with daddy!

Mavery woke this morning in a MUCH better mood. Which put ME in a much better mood! She woke up at 5:45 and I pulled her in bed with me where she fell back asleep. I just spent a long time praying over her and asking the Father to help ME to help her. I know you all are praying back home for her adjustment and for my emotions as well. I FEEL the prayers, I really do. Thank you again for all the sweet emails and comments, they do my heart good. I am sorry I am not able to keep up on answering you, but please know that I do read them all and treasure knowing you are here with us in thoughts and prayer.

After she woke again, we got ready and you could just tell, she was different. Less sad, more curious. We had breakfast and came back to the room to get ready for our tour of the West Lake. When we came up I realized that we had left her little Dora fork in the dining room, so I sent Mark up to get it. Because she loves using this fork, and uses it well. He came down and said they don't have it. What do you mean they don't have it, he suggested I could go ask myself, which I did. Now, remember, not much english here. I get up there and say We left her fork, and they handed me every different type of fork they had, big small, different designs etc.. I kept pointing at Mavery, trying every thing I could think of to explain we already ate and left her fork. Finally I use the word lost and they got it. Found my fork, happily handed it to me and we were on our way. I told Mark he is just not as "expressive" when it comes to communicating with the chinese.

We get on the bus and head over to where we will tour the lake. You know so far I have not been impressed with Hangzhou. But today, being in a better state of mind, seeing Mavery coming alive, I was able to sit back and enjoy the beauty this city really does have to offer. The area we drove through was just charming, and I would have loved to stop at some of the shops along the way. Well that is with out carrying the chunky monkey that is! ;0) We get to our destination and wait for our boat ride. We were quite the attraction again and had lots of pictures taken with the Chinese. I am totally thinking we could move here and make a living that way! Just teasing, we think it is cute.

Oh along the way we saw a place you could dress up in Chinese silks and get photos taken. Mavery was not so much into this, which is a bummer as we thought it would be so cute to have a picture of her and Emma together like this. I also tried to talk Mark, Jeff and our guide Peter into dressing up but for some reason they would not go for that. I told them you all would have LOVED to have seen it! ;0)

The boat ride was just a boat ride around the lake and it is so calm and we enjoyed it. Mavery is coming out of her shell more and more that is for sure. Peter told us that the director (who IS named Mr JIN, Cynthia you were right!, though he has another name to.) said that SongSong is very smart and is a very hard child to take care of. WHAT? No, no, no, that was NOT in the paperwork, do they not know about Spicy Girl who already lives in my house? They were supposed to send us the CALM, quiet version. That is what we pictured all along? Looks like we were wrong all along. And the glimpses we have had today, we are in trouble. She knows what she wants, and she GETS what she wants. She was playing with a water bottle and pouring it on me. Mark took it away and she threw a fit. She goes to Emma for food and if Emma says no, she screams till Emma gives in. She hit Leigh on the back and Peter said she was saying she was mad at her because she would not give her food! Do you think these are bad signs? ;-) And she is not shy, she is much more like Sage in that area than I pictured. Chinese men were playing with her on the boat and she teases and flirts and she knows she is cute!

Her and Emma were quite the pair on the boat. We had Peter translating some of it for us. At one point he said Emma called Mavery stupid. hehe! They truly act like sisters in every way. I am so sad that they can't live near each other, but unless I can talk their family into ranching in Illinois, the girls will be apart. I think it is good that they have this slow transition to break them up. I wish we were flying home together, though the flight attendants might be thankful we are not!

After the tour we got back to our hotel and Peter took us to a Chinese place to eat and ordered for us. The food was excellent. Mark did try a chicken claw at Peters urging, but said it did not have much taste. He tried to talk me into it, he said it made a good story. I told him I have all the stories I need! Mavery was a typical 2 year old at lunch that is for sure. Refused the high chair, throwing chop sticks, making me run her to the bathroom 3 times. (which you know I love the bathrooms AND the stares I get as I walk for the 3rd time through the place!) We left and let the Chisums take the bill, as we were all desperate to get us out of there! ;0)

Now we are back in the room and having lots of fun! She is hilarious and watching her blossom is just amazing. We got Esther on skype and hearing them talk to each other was just to cute. We got it on video so will try to upload that later. Esther said she asked her if she is happy and she said yes, so that makes us happy. At this moment she is a totally different child than 24 hours ago. I did not expect to see her emerge so quickly. And I am sure we will have moments that she falls back into that sadness, but we are holding on to these happy times for all we can! She is just so amazing and I can't wait for you all to meet her!

Just a note about her & Mark. She is playing with him lots, but just won't let him carry her. Or if I start to leave her space she is right behind me. Today she has wanted to be held more and walking much less. Thankfully we have not had far to walk! She knows he is the one to toss her around in the air and so she will keep him around for that!

We are half way down and half way home!

We have a crisis!

2008-10-15T22:33:00.001-07:00

We have LOST the play phone! We have the little purse she carries it in, but no phone. She LOVES this phone. Though she has not been to upset so far that she can't find it. But it upsets ME! I know we can buy another just like it at home, but I wanted her to be able to keep this comfort item with her the rest of the trip. I am PRAYING that we just left it in our van this morning and that it will be there when we get on again. I had been doing so good to keep track of the phone and the purse and the 2 bracelets she insists on wearing and the headband and the sunglasses! Hey, a girl has to have her stuff ya know?!

So if you will pray with me that we will find it, it will do us all good. If not, someone is going to have to get to walmart for me and get me a replacement!

Mark's Post - A Dad's Prayer Answered

2008-10-15T07:52:00.001-07:00

Ok, well I guess it is time to do a post. I have two other posts that I want to do but first I wanted to share my experience with Mavery. As Shannon mentioned she really does not appreciate me at this moment. She won't let me do anything except she will sit on my lap if Shannon is in the bathroom. I expected this and I am glad I am getting the cold shoulder instead of Shannon. I am not sure she could take it. Dads are expected to just roll with it but don't believe your husband when he says it doesn't bother him. It still hurts. I have tried my best to not show my frustration although Shannon has caught me rolling my eyes a few times. I felt especially bad when Shannon had to carry her a million miles and if I try to touch her she screams bloody murder with about a million chinese people staring at us (that's Mavery screaming not Shannon :>). I could not get us a taxi so I was feeling pretty useless at this point. I think God knew he needed to throw me a rope. We get to the room tonight and it is the normal cold shoulder. She decides to sit on my lap to look at pictures and I kind of toss her to see if I get anything. I have been trying to occasionally tickle her or bounce her and I get the get lost scream! Well this time she kind of giggles. I was not going to let this pass so I count 1,2,3 and toss her a little higher and she giggles more. Pretty soon I am tickling her and she is counting 1,2, 3 or ready, set, go in Chinese (not sure which). Well, I threw her about 100 times but I was not quitting until she did. We just had a blast playing which is basically what Dad's are for in my opinion. Just having a great time together. I thanked God so much tonight. The girls are both sleeping now and I love just looking at them. All is good in the world tonight.

One Happy Dad,
Mark

Here is a small glimple of our night!

MingMing & SongSong

2008-10-15T07:08:00.000-07:00

It has been interesting to watch this little relationship. There are times when SongSong pushes MingMing away. Sometimes she does it to be ornery, other times I think she is just trying to figure out what is going on here. MingMing takes care of SongSong for sure, always feeding her, or making sure she can see, as you can see her lifting her up to see the birds. Today Ming Ming wanted to hold her hand and SongSong said no. So Ming came to hold my hand and Song changed hands so she could not do that! They truly act like sisters with their teasing and "fighting" but also with the love that you can see between them. I need to get them on video as it is the cutest thing to hear them speak to one another or just the way Song says her name. mingMING! It makes me sad that they will live so far apart. We go home to Illinois, them to Texas. But thank goodness for skype and we know we will get them together as often as we can! Once again so thankful that the Father allowed us to bring them home at the same time and have this forever bond.

**Last post today, don't miss the other FOUR I added! Though Mark said he has a post to do and we have the cute video of Mavery giggles to put up. I am heading to bed, but he might add them tonight!

Wednesday-Free Day

2008-10-15T06:12:00.000-07:00

Not sure I am ever going to get caught up as I am now only able to blog in naptime and once she is in bed, which by this time of night I am wiped out! I have so many things I never want to forget and so I am just making notes to jog my memory later on.

We started the day talking to the kids on skype, they had not "met" Mavery yet. And it was very hard. First, my emotions were already on edge from Tuesday. Then Mavery woke up crying and was just sad. So we call the kids and Sage is BAWLING. Crying she wants her mama, reaching out for me, it was so bad. They all promised she had just woke up from her nap and that she has done great, but it was not fun. I think the other kids did enjoy seeing Mavery though. Mavery just sat on my lap and ate some snacks, no emotion. Well, for that moment. After that she was doing the whimpering crying, pitiful stick her lip out break my heart cry. Emotionally, I have had it. I can't stop crying, I am a mess. We also did skype with Shane and Esther and I had Esther talk to Mavery in chinese and Mavery would lean in close to the screen to stare at her, but would not talk back.

After breakfast we decided to venture out with the Chisums on foot and try to find the Childrens Palace we had heard about. Anything has to be better than sitting in this room with all of us crying! (Mark is not crying, but he might because Mavery has decided she does not care for him) Long walk carrying SongSong who now refused to let her daddy hold her. I used the ergo baby carrier which is ok, but still hard on the already aching from the concrete beds, back and hips and legs and arms, and think of your body parts and it hurts on me.

We find the park, which looks perfect and like lots of fun. But we can't find a ticket window and of course we can't find anyone who speaks english. Though if you talk to people they try really hard to speak to us in chinese. But even after saying it 1000 times, we still do not get it. We finally come to the conclusion that the zillion school age kids we are seeing, must have rented the park as the ticket booths appear to be closed and they are not letting us on any rides with out a ticket. So we decide to walk along the West Lake.

The lake is beautiful, though the smog is thick so it is hard to see across. We had heard that Hangzhou is the most beautiful city here in China. I myself was having a hard time enjoying it as I am working up a sweat carrying a girl who is so sad it makes your heart just hurt and heavy enough to make my arms ache! After our stroll around the lake, we head back and Mavery falls right to sleep.

Mark ventured out to get McDonalds for lunch which was ok. The burger was salty with some hot saucy stuff on it along with cucumbers. Mavery wakes up still very sad and so we decide to go back out and see if the Childrens Palace was open. Another long walk, I am convinced I should lose 10 pounds and gain tons of muscle before this trip is over! The place is still closed, though some guy did let us in to the toddler area that had a playground Mavery enjoyed for a bit. Still sad.. Sigh.

We decide we are going to take a taxi to Carefour and just browse around and maybe pick up a stroller. Well, first of all, the 5 taxis in front of our hotel laughed when we showed them the card of where we wanted to go. They tell us to walk, or at least we think that is what they said. So we go to the next hotel and ask their "hotel boy" to get us a taxi. (this would be another hit against our hotel, have I mentioned how much I do not like the place?) Which they do. We shopped for awhile, but were very bummed about the prices. Strollers were $30, that is high for China! And we are not sure Mavery will even ride in it since she is not even liking the cart! We will try to hold out till Guangzhou, where we know we can just borrow a stroller. We did buy some chinese dvd's of the disney princess movies, chinesedora, books along with some snacks. Have I mentioned that SongSong LOVES to eat? I am wishing I had brought more puffs or those baby yogurt bites, she gobbles those up!

So we finish up and go to McDonalds for an icecream, then look for a taxi. And we could not get one. I did not know that taxi's had an option to NOT take you somewhere, but believe me, they do because we were told no or ignored many, many times. So we have to walk back. Which Mark guesstimated was 3-4 miles. I thought I was going to die. Mavery will walk a little bit, which then slows us down. And did I tell you we are the ONLY white family here, besides the Chisums I think? And I do not think they see many visitors because we were quite the attraction. To bad I could not charge admission for the show, but the title was great. "CRAZED LOOKING WHITE WOMAN AND BALD WHITE MAN SWEATING THROUGH THE STREETS OF HANGZHOU WITH A SAD CHINESE BABY IN TOW." A few people stop to talk to us (in chinese) and I am pretty sure they are asking SongSong if we stole her away and stuck that bow on her head against her wishes!

All the while I am thinking of all the reasons I am disappointed in this city we are in all week. Mark and I are adventurous, we do not like to stay in the room, we like to explore and try to find new things. We are not uncomfortable with new situations and look at it all as a big adventure. But this has gone beyond my sense of adventure. Aren't taxis supposed to feel sorry for woman walking with babies? Don't these places know that we like chinese food but we really want an english menu so we know what we are ordering? And we will try new things to eat, but still would like to know if I am eating monkey brain fungus or ox stomach or simply chicken! Why does our hotel not have strollers to lend out? Why do they think it is ok to smoke outside my room and think if you spray air freshner and take out the ash trays that makes the room non smoking? Wah, wah wah...

We FINALLY make it near the hotel and decide on pizza hut for dinner. (remember, no english menus, and i honestly can't take another step) Up to this point Mavery has been sad the ENTIRE day. Even the ice cream did not grant us a smile. But carry her for 4 miles and then give her a coke and she begins to show us some smiles. Oh when she smiles it can light up the entire room! The waitress starts talking to her and she is talking back and I just would love to know what she is saying. Mark is convinced she is saying" get a load of these people, I totally have this one called Mama wrapped, I whine just a teeny tiny bit and she jumps to my beck and call." Whatever!

After dinner we make it back and once in our room, Mavery starts the lip pouting thing, but afer some coaxing and teasing we get her playing and giggling and talking in chinese and it did all of us good. To see these little glimpses of what our future is with her, I just can't wait! I will get the video up of her talking and laughing, I think you will enjoy it! She was letting Mark in, which she had shut him out all day, so that was good for him. It was a perfect ending to a day that had started out so sad. I am hopeful as some said that either day 3, or maybe just leaving Hangzhou she will not be so sad.

Oh and I did get the kids back on skype during Maverys nap and Sage came on and said, "hi mom, I not cry no more!" The kids are headed to Branson for the week with my parents and Ms Jenny so I know that will be good for them. I can't wait to see more pictures of what they are doing, that has really helped us!

Thursday (tomorrow) is our West Lake tour and our guide promised to take us out and order food for us. Thank goodness! I am also going to try to talk him into some local shopping for silk as Hangzhou is known for silk. I am sure he will love that. We finally got him talking yesterday on the way home from Jinhua and he was telling us how this was his unlucky year according to Chinese custom as he was born in the year of the rat. I told him that was totally not true, in fact this had to be his luckiest year as he met us and the Chisum familys! ;0)

All about Mavery

2008-10-15T05:41:00.000-07:00

I have had some emails with questions about Mavery, so thought I would just let you get to know her to!

Her full name is Mavery Raye JinSong. The Raye is a combo of my middle name and Marks middle name.
She is a chunk! We weighed her in our room at 30 pounds. She has a belly on her and her legs are so chubby, I love it! And of course those cheeks, you can't help but squeeze them and kiss on them!
Size, she is wearing 3t clothes that I brought and those are good. The 3t jeans were a little saggy but with an adjustable waist we did fine. I brought size 5 shoes and they are good. She is very similar in size to Sage.
Her coloring is exactly like Sages I think. Darker skin and jet black hair. Though her hair seems thicker than Sage's. Renee, I am using the shampoo you gave me, hoping it helps it grow in as beautiful as Lillys!
She acts older than Sage in alot of ways. (they are 20 days apart) but I think that is because she is calmer about everything. She is very dainty when she eats and when she walks. I am really shocked at how advanced she is, but after seeing Jinhua, I guess that explains things.
She is a girly girl! She LOVES to put on her jewelry and won't take it off even to sleep. She likes the bows (Thank goodness) and we had fun painting toes. Putting on lotion is her favorite thing to do. There was definatly no hair bows or girly dresses at Jinhua!
She has still not let go of her play phone. She has stopped dialing so much so I guess she has given up on a rescue from 911! She wants that in bed with her also. I had sent it in a care package earlier this year, who knew the $5 Walmart find would be so great!
She has the funniest walk ever. She almost struts and she acts like she is walking with a purpose. She sticks her belly out and it just makes me smile.
She speaks very clearly and I got some great video of her tonight talking. I "think" she is counting.
You might not know, but Mavery is a heart baby and had open heart surgery. Her "scar" is bigger than I thought. The middle of her chest has a large bulge to it, you can tell when you hold her or even through her clothes. It is very hard and this is scar tissue build up we think. We were told this is cosmetic and that it might go down on it's own or she can do cosmetic surgery when she is older if she chooses. She will meet with a heart specialist when we get home but we believe that all she is going to need is yearly visits to the heart doctor. She is healthy and her color is very good. If you read Maverys poem (link on top of blog,) you can see why we think that bulge is there, it is us in her heart!
She says Mama, Baba and hi! Along with tons of chinese that we don't understand. She will repeat sometimes what we say, and she loves to look at pictures and repeat the names. Her speech is very clear and her voice is the cutest thing ever!
She is SMART. You can just see her little mind going all the time and if you show her how to do something (press play on the video camera, the ipod, etc, she does not forget)
She is ORNERY! She can tease and enjoys joking around. I think we are in trouble when she and Sage start working against us!
She is sleeping well, though tonight she refused the crib and is sleeping in my bed so we will see what happens there once I get back in bed for the night.
She is TOTALLY potty trained! How do we know she needs to use the potty since we do not speak chinese? Easy, screaming and pulling her pants down means get me to a potty now! That is universal for any language I think! We hope that she is going to teach Sage in this area, unless those back home did the job for us! ;0)

I can't wait till I really know her and can share more with you!

Making Mavery Happy (or trying anyways!)

2008-10-15T05:25:00.000-07:00

I was going to title this eating the american way, because that is what we are doing here! I will go into that more when I do my Hangzhou post. But just thought you would enjoy seeing the food our day consited of. Mc Donalds for lunch, ice cream for a snack, and pizza hut for dinner! She likes fries and chicken nuggets. She LOVES the ice cream. We got a cone to "Share" but she does not really care to share, and she had that down in seconds! For dinner we had pizza hut and we had great fun with the cola, she is playing with it by using a spoon to drink it. You can see that finally got a smile, our first for today. I am all for coke if it gets me that smile!

First glimpses of Jinhua

2008-10-15T05:11:00.000-07:00

Benjamin & Mavery

2008-10-15T04:55:00.000-07:00

Mavery's Jinhua-Tuesdays Visit

2008-10-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

I expected today to be emotional and hard, but I never could have prepared my heart for exactly what I would go through today, much less what Mavery would go through. I think what I expected was to be so moved by being in an orphanage and the kids waiting, I had not given much thought to the fact that I would be able to get a glimpse into the life that Mavery had for the last almost 3 years. I want a re-do in so many ways, I want to go back, I want to ask more, look more, hear more, though I am not sure I could feel any more. All I could do was cry from the moment we pulled up. Let me go back..

I was nervous of the bus ride. 2 1/2 hours, and remember I get a little car sick at times, and the thought of China driving for 2 1/2 hours had me nervous. Though I knew I was being prayed for in that specific area so I got in the van and we headed out. We asked if we could stop and get snacks to take to the kids at the orphanage and we made a quick dash into carefour. (think walmart) Not that a thing in walmart is quick. We did a potty break on the way out, and I am going to a potty post all on it's own because it is just to funny not to.

I have to say the drive was fine as far as traffic. It is the first roads I have been on in China with out alot of cars, so that in itself was a true gift. The bad thing is we are in a van that is in need of new shocks or something, it is not a smooth ride by any means. And have I mentioned that Mavery is heavy and dead weight? And the van is not a big roomy van so she is sleeping on me, which I am trying to be all sentimental and enjoy, which I AM, but my behind is numb, my legs are numb and I cant' move at all. Thankfully we did take a break in there, more squatty pottys, and a chance to stretch and we were back on our way. Let me throw in that remember, Mavery did well at breakfast, she pushed Emma away and WANTED to sit on my lap, so I am thinking we are doing a little better. Sigh...

We pull up to the SWI (Social Welfare Institue=Orphanage) and it is gated, so we pull in and get out and he says we have to wait for the director. Emma is bouncing around and ready to jump on the elevator, you can tell she knows this place. Mavery is pointing to the playground etc.. A few minutes later the director walks in, which is a woman. Mavery starts laughing and screaming and throws herself in her arms. Her face lights up like I had not seen and I lost it. She is yelling a name at her, which is the same word we had heard the day before, so she obviously knows this woman and loves her very much. Being the director I did not think she had much contact with the children, but that is wrong. Mavery knows her for sure. So we get in the elevator to go upstairs, and she is done with me. She is back to pushing me away, and giving me "the look". We get out and she runs straight down the hall to where the kids and nannies are and she is laughing and jumping and the nannies are yelling SongSong and kissing her and I thought my heart was going to break into a million tiny pieces. These are not just nannies to her, these have been her mothers, each and every one of them. Not in the sense that I will eventually get to be her mother, but I believe they loved her deeply. This is all she has known for the last almost 3 years.

We spent a long time in the main room, which they said is where the children do plays etc. Mavery ran right to her seat, which is next to Benjamin and she was teasing him, playing. This is NOT the same girl we met yesterday, nor is it even what I imagined her to be like. I did not see a timid shy little girl, but someone that is comfortable with her friends, has an ornery streak likes to tease, and loves to be loved on.

The nannies kept holding her and having her say something to me in Chinese. I have no idea what she was saying, but I know Mama was coming out, which was not helping the tears, to hear her saying Mama. Though she does not know what she is saying, just to hear her voice say mama, it melts you.

We left this room so they could show us around and they told SongSong to lead us. Which she happily did. She ran straight to her room and her bed and was yelling all kinds of things which I assume were probably things like, this bed is not so bad, better than that smoky hotel room you have stuck me in! Just being there, and touching her crib, knowing that this is the place she has slept in with out me for so long. It was not a big room, just 4 cribs and it looked like a few beds for the nannies. We also saw where they eat and the playroom. They gave Mavery water out of a bowl to drink, which was funny, but obviously how they do it. Everything looked very clean to me. Bare, but clean.

I think others who have gone have seen much more, but this is the only area we saw. I think typically they feed you at the SWI, but they said we were late, and to be honest, I am not sure I could have sat through lunch there. I could not stop my tears and the thought of having to sit through lunch with them, though I wanted to, I physically could not do it.

Our guide said it was time to go and so I go to grab Mavery and she starts SCREAMING and fighting me with everything in her. The nannies are all yelling bye songsong, bye and she is screaming and I am bawling and it was horrible. The whole way down in the elevator I am just trying to hold her and calm her and she is so upset. We get out and she sees the director and goes running right back to her. She picks her up and is gets her calm and then I try to get her on the bus, which is not happening. So the shorter man, who is the one who does all the paperwork, takes her and gets in the bus and she sits on his lap just fine. I have to add, she seemed to love everyone, but she REALLY loves him. She sees his pictures and just lights up and so I assumed he was staying in the van and I knew this was a good thing. Except for the fact that I can not stop crying and I know he is thinking that poor song song is stuck w/ a crazy woman for a mama. I honestly was to that point where I wanted to just do the sobbing, hiccuping, embarrassing cry but I am trying to hold it in and the whole time I am thinking, all my friends home are sound asleep so they can't even be praying me through this! Just typing this I am bawling and thankful Mavery is asleep so I don't scare her! I know she must surely think her mamas eyes ever stop leaking!

So we start driving and our guide tells us we are going to KFC and will eat lunch at the police station while they apply for the girls passports. They apologize that they can't take us for chinese lunch but we missed lunch time. KFC is fine with us. Mavery did let me take her potty in KFC, but ran right back to the director once we were back. Again back in the van and to the police station.

So we eat, and get passport stuff done which takes forever. But it was good. She was letting us back in a little with the food, playing etc... We were getting smiles and giggles which I think is on the video. Which had me bawling all over again because I just think that is when it all hit me that we have taken her from all she knows but she is now ours forever and that thought just takes my breath away.

She spends alot of time playing with director (I sure wish I knew his name, I will find that out) and just to see their relationship, was so touching. There was no doubt in my mind that he loved her. You could just see it in his face. I went to our guide and told him that I could see he truly loved the children. And he said, well he is an orphan to, he grew up there his whole life, and now he helps the children. Oh my gosh. As if my heart could break ANY more.

Soon it is time to go, and we say goodbye to Mr Director. He says (through our guide, speaks no english at all) you must bring her back in 10 years so we can see her again. He hugs her and kisses her and we get on. My tears are flowing, my heart is aching, but Mavery actually is doing ok. She gets on with us. And was AMAZING on the ride home. She was teasing Ming Ming, and joking and HILARIOUS. I laughed and cried so much just seeing her little personality shine through.

One interesting thing to note is that Emma was very different than Mavery at the SWI. She was much more standoffish there. It was if she was saying, this is my family, I am staying with them and had already made her peace with it. I know I have heard that from others adopting older children.

So many things I wanted to ask them, so many things I wish I could have said to them. I could never convey my gratitude for loving my sweet girl for me. Someone had told me that it seemed like they were one big family there, and that is very true. My heart hurts so much for Mavery right now. To be taken from all you know, everyone that has loved you so deeply for so long. To see that up close and to know that she was loved just as much as we prayed she would be, there are just no words.

Things are so different than with Sage. We assumed that Sage was in a good place, and I think she was. But we were so far removed from it. We went in a room, we were handed a baby that did not cry, and our life was exactly as we planned.

I know that many have had children who grieved hard. My cousins daughter did, as well as Kathys and I know many others have. To experience that, and then to see where she lived and WHY she grieves, I just can't shake it. But in many ways, I hope that I never do. I pray that I will always be softened to this for her, what she has gone through. I pray that God will never let me forget, what I felt today and what I saw today.

This does not even begin to talk about the children, the sweet sweet children that wait.

Red Thread Stitches

2008-10-14T13:28:00.000-07:00

I wanted to give a big shout out to my sweet friend Robin at Red Thread Stitches for this adorable outfit! If you have not checked out her website, run over and see all the amazing things she does and is doing to bring home her sweet daughter from China! Just click here or if that does not work, she is linked on my other blog. It seems forever ago that I bought this from her with dreams of seeing Mavery wear it, and finally here she is, in China looking as adorable as I dreamed she would! With matching doll dress to! (Of course so far SongSong is not so much into mothering as she threw the doll across the room right after I took this picture! hehe!) Thank you Robin!

Jin Pei and Emma

2008-10-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

Benjamin

2008-10-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

Tuesday Morning

2008-10-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

Mavery slept well last night. I on the other hand was up at 4 with thoughts of, I can't believe 24 hours ago that crib was empty, and thinking of what today would hold. As you can see, she woke up very sad, and was pretty quiet all morning. I was encouraged because we went for breakfast and as we were leaving she saw Emma and Emma tried to get her down and she refused to let me put her down. So that made me hopeful.

We started the day back at the office where we met her yesterday, to finalize the adoption. We said we were very happy with our baby, promised to always love her and it was official. She is now forever Mavery Raye JinSong Laxton, our 4th daughter, our 5th child. A special gift that we will always treasure.

After this we headed out to Jinhua. I am going to do a post just on that, and I am honestly not sure I can keep my eyes open to finish it tonight, so it might have to wait till tomorrow. The reality of I HAVE MAVERY has hit me in good ways. I want to share it all and remember it all, just the way it happened. And I can't wait to give you the rundown on how a 5 year old educated us on squatty pottys today!

I hugged some very sweet boys today!!!

2008-10-14T03:47:00.000-07:00

I have so much to say about our day today and my mind and heart are overflowing with what I WANT to say, so I am going to do this in a few posts. It was by far MUCH harder than yesterday and I am emotionally exhausted, but in very good ways. I first want to get some pictures of 2 beautiful little boys that we met at Jinhua who are waiting for their mommy's.

Peggy, Benjamin is ADORABLE! We walked in the room and he was sitting down and Mavery ran right over and sat down next to him, that must have been her spot. He was very quiet compared to the other kids, so I assume he is going to have a laid back personality. He is smaller, very tiny. Mavery was teasing him and he was holding his own with her though! The director guy gave him his package and he was so cute about it all. He REALLY liked his frog and played with it the rest of the time that we were there. He looked to cute in his hat, though he had to keep that one from Mavery! We saw his bed, he is on the end of the room by the way, Mavery on the other end. Just 4 beds though in that row. I did not get to get the answers to your questions as I had hoped. I was so intent on getting the pictures and it was pure chaos for us. Which I will write more in another post. Since he and Mavery are so close, I think I can answer alot for you from how she is!

Cynthia, my heart about broke. They told me that Jin Pei told the director he is very sad and misses his mama and wants her to come now. You could see in his eyes that he is looking for you, and I can't wait till the day we see pictures of you meeting him! (I almost hate to tell you that, but I want you to know that he loves you already as much as you love him!) He is adorable and curious about everything. Really watched us. He and Emma were doing a song and dance and I think we got it on video. If I did not I am sure Leigh did.

We took a ton of pictures and I will move them all to my flickr account later so you can see everything. (click on the sidebar of blog) I also got alot of video and I will get some up as quick as I can. So far we are not having any issues, thankfully.

I know how miserable the waiting is, and we wish you had been with us today. I hope the pictures help a little and we are praying that very soon you will be here holding your little Jinhua sweeties!

Jin Ming & Jin Song

2008-10-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

Meeting Mavery

2008-10-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

Operation Mavery Smiles!!!

2008-10-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

What a difference a few hours make! Is that not the most beautiful site you have ever seen? that sad little face CAN smile! Oh we saw some personality tonight that is for sure and we were LOVING it! We decided to venture out for dinner with Leigh and family. We were a little nervous of how Mavery would do once back with Emma. But we also want them to be together and find comfort in each other. So we left the room and when I held out my hand, she grabbed on, which was good. We got downstairs and as soon as she saw MingMing (Emma) she took off to her and they just grabbed on to each other. It is like Emma feels it is her job to take care of Mavery, so sweet. So I try to touch her and she gives me the Uhhhh, which is the get away sound. We walk outside to grab taxis and I pick her up to jump in ours and she actually did fine. A little nervous leaving Emma at first, but good. So we decided to try a chinese place our hotel suggested. We asked for chinese food, english menus, kid friendly. We get there and it is very fancy, no english menu, no english speaking people. We point to a picture and ask what it is. Amazingly, every dish on the menu was pork! Jeff asked if they had pork like pig, and snorted for them, and that got a good round of giggles from the waitress's. It was quite comical. We ordered a few different things including duck, pork (we think) noodles and we are not sure what else. The food comes and the duck was bad, but some of it was ok. We have no idea what we were eating, and I think it is better that way. I fed Mavery, she would not feed herself. And after awhile, she just starts laughing and playing and it was so much fun! She and Ming Ming are quite something together. They act like sisters. They were hitting each other and yelling in chinese and we were just having a ball watching them. (for the record, Emma is 5, Mavery almost 3) Mavery is looking at us rattling off in Chinese and we just laughed and laughed! Such a blessing for sure to see her feeling better, made ME feel so much better.

We walked back from dinner and she was getting very tired. She is a heavy girl, but we were just happy she was letting us carry her because at first she was insisting on walking only.

Once in the room we put her pjs on with no complaints. I rocked her for awhile and laid her down and she sat up in bed and just wanted to play with her phone. She LOVES that phone. I had sent it in one of the care packages. I am pretty certain she is dialing 911 (or in China it is 119) and saying, PLEASE save me! She pushes the buttons over and over and has not let go of it.

Sweet, tonight we looked at all the pictures I have and she loves to point at everyone and hear their name! She goes to Sage everytime but stops on each of the other kids to. I also showed her the album I have made to take to the orphanage tomorrow and it has kids that have been adopted from there, along with pictures of the workers etc. She was rattling off people as she pointed to them, to cute! She loves Ming Ming that is for sure and anytime she saw her she yelled Ming Ming! She also stopped for awhile on the 2 Jinhua boys that are with our agency and still waiting.

We finally got her to lay down in the bed and she was out. We will see how it goes tonight. I know I am exhausted and heading to bed soon.

Some things about her. We have named her Mavery Raye JinSong. They gave us her name as Cong, but it sounds like Song and so we are spelling it that way. We are calling her Jin Song or SongSong and that is what she refers to herself as. We weighed her in our room at 30 pounds. She is chunky, her belly is huge as are her legs. I think she might be heavier than Sage, but about the same height. Her feet might be smaller. She is totally potty trained and we hope that she can teach Sage a few things about this. She is smart. In fact our guide said, Jin Song very smart, that is very bad for you as he laughed! She seems older to me than Sage, just the way she acts and talks and works things. Which shocked me, I thought she would be way behind. I believe Jinhua is just a very good orphanage and we were blessed she was there. Her chinese is so clear and it sounds hilarious coming from this tiny little girl, because she talks so fast and loud. Her voice is the opposite of Sage, not deep at all, more high. I hope we can get it on video. Mark tried to upload a video, but we are also doing flickr pictures so it did not work. Maybe I can capture her speaking soon! She has the most kissable cheeks, they are so fat and squishy and I love them!

Tomorrow we are off early to visit Jinhua, her orphange and city. It is a 2 1/2 hour drive so that should be lots of fun! I think she will do ok actually. This morning I worried, but I think she will just play and be with her friends and at the end of the day MingMing will go with us so I think it will be fine. Maybe I am wrong, but with how well she has been tonight, I just feel good about it. To be able to see where she has lived for the last 3 years is a gift for sure. And we are so excited to hug on a couple of boys that we know their mamas are waiting! Please do pray for us, for her as we go through this final goodbye to her home that she has known.

By the way, I have no clue what the sticker on the forhead is about. Emma stuck one on her and even in our room JinSong puts them on her head. Ancient Chinese Secret? I am not sure.

Thanks for the prayers and comments & emails, we have loved reading them and love having you all with us. I can't wait for you to see this little miracle that has been placed in our family. I still have so many things I wish I could write more about my feelings for today, , but I really can't keep my eyes open anymore! (hoping that Amy comes behind and spellchecks me on this one because I just want to sleep! ;0) ) Mark would also say, you are writing enough as it is, get off the computer!

She cleans up well!

2008-10-13T06:05:00.000-07:00

After nap we decided Mavery had to have a bath. She was not smelling so good and we knew it was probably not going to be fun, because just touching her shoes had sent her screaming. But we just decided we were doing it and slowly took off the boy clothes little by little. She was not happy, and would not sit in the bath, but she did let us wash her good. She is no Sage that is for sure, as soon as water got in her face she was done. But I think she was actually happy to be clean and covered in lotion. Her poor little body is covered in bug bites, lots of them. So we did bath, she let us dress her and as you can see, she even let me get a bow in. We had a battle over it a bit, but I told her that was one battle I was going to win, and I will say by the end of the night, she was trying to put the bow back in herself! I brought this huge baggie of beautiful bows, but as you can tell, we are lucky to get a clippie in with how short it is! I have a headband, but that was not happening tonight! Isn't her shirt adorable? My friend Tracy made that for her and I just love it! Gotcha Mavery!!!

Gotcha Part II

2008-10-12T23:58:00.001-07:00

I am sitting here watching her sleep. I waited for so long for this moment to just see her sleeping. She has the most amazing lips I have ever seen and her cheeks are so soft and full and thankfully I have been able to kiss on them a few times, though she is not that excited about it. I am just staring in awe at her. Look what the Lord has done for us, look what He has given us! Another beautiful baby girl is ours.

We got ready and had breakfast with Leigh and I actually felt fairly calm. Calmer than I did with Sage. Which is probably a good thing with how it was about to go.

Before we left our room Mark just prayed for us, for Mavery, we spent time just in thanksgiving and praise before Him. Which did get my emotions flowing, but I was still ok.

We got to the office and we did not know if we would see the girls when we walked in, or not. We start walking upstairs and I hear screaming and I am thinking, is that Mavery, please don't let that be Mavery! And then I see a white man holding her so I know that it is not Mavery. We get in the room and find out they will not be there for another 1/2 hour. So that is good, we can get started on paperwork. This process has been so different for us, but we got it all done and were standing waiting and I saw Emma walk in and then the director is there holding Mavery and he is saying Jin Cong mama baba and nodding at me and I walk over and she sees me and she SCREAMS. Loud, very loud screams. He hands her to me and she is fighting me with all she can to get away from me and screaming and then screaming at me in Chinese and I am thinking, ok so do I set her down and let her run from me? About that time the 2 directors come over and are yelling in chinese (not yelling, but you know sometimes when they talk it sounds like yelling) and I hear potty and they say set her down and I do and they take her out of the room. Mark did not hear the potty part so he comes over and says, are they going to bring back the non screaming version or what? So she comes back in the room and walks over to Emma and wants NOTHING to do w/ me at all. I try to hand her something, she pushes me away. It was almost comical how disgusted with me she was. I am pulling out all the tricks and NOTHING gets her. Not my food, not my toys, NOTHING.
Emma who is my friends daughter, is SO calm and is a little mother. The director told us these two are tight and I once again see why our timeline turned out as it did. These little girls were meant to leave together and have this forever bond between them. Hopefully Mark is going to post a video of our bus ride home. If Leigh would hand Emma something, she would open it and take it to Mavery and give it to her. She took a kleenex and would wipe her nose for her. I handed Mavery some stickers and she screams something at me and I hear Ming Ming and she runs to Emma and hands them over to her. It was the most precious thing I have ever seen the bond between them. They were holding hands as we walked out, just precious.

We were at the office a long time, a few hours doing paperwork, signing everything, etc. We were given all of the stuff we sent, tons of camera, our video camera we sent, and an outfit that they said Mavery loves. We were also given a chance to see a note that was left with Mavery when she was found. They would not let me have it but I did get to take pictures and they wrote down what it said. I had sent a red book of questions awhile back and they filled out the entire book! I am SO excited about that. It is all in Chinese so will be anxious to let Esther read through it for me. We both just talked about how blessed we were, they really seemed to love our kids, and to me it seemed they really knew them.

At one point Mavery is screaming again and they say potty, mama take you potty. So I am thinking ok good, I get to take her. And she actually did let me pick her up and carry her to the potty. She is not happy, but she lets me. So the guide shows me where to go and I walk in and it is a squatty potty and the floor is filled with nasty water or, well I don't even want to think of what it is. So I am thinking, she cant stand in this, so I am holding her over the pot while I am squatting and here we are staring right at each other and I am praying that I am not going to fall over in this water and that surely this is a good bonding moment right? Either that or she is thinking, why is this lady holding me and not letting me just do my thing here? We survived and Praise the Lord she is potty trained!

As we prepare to leave, Mavery grabs on to Emma's hand all the while with this little pout. We get out to the van, and they sit on the bench together and I go to sit down and Mavery pushes me away while screaming at me. Sigh.. But you know me, I don't give up that easily so I just scoot my way in and sit with her. Emma keeps her arm tightly around Mavery and is wiping her nose and trying to make her happy. Emma was also pointing at me, it seemed trying to tell Mavery, that is your mama, you are stuck with her wether you like it or not!

We get back to our hotel and have to get photos taken and I am thinking, this is going to be so much fun. We go in the shop and they send Emma in front of the screen and so that means she has to walk away from Mavery and so that starts the hysterical screaming all over again. So the picture people let Mavery come up next to her so she will stop crying. But it was bad, she was just so upset and I am crying and ugh... Then we have to get a family picture done and you can imagine how that was! They finally sent Emma up to stand next to me so she was near Mavery! I told Leigh maybe we just needed to find us a nice hotel with one big room so we can be one big happy family for a week! We decide that we need to just do it, take her to our room, break her away from Emma for a little bit and see how it goes.

And she screamed all the way to our room and the chinese people are staring at me while they sit in my hallway and smoke and we just get to our room and set her down and after a few minutes she did not screaming. Mark left to go find food and I sat on the floor and tried to play with her, while she just stared at me with the look. That I am so disgusted with you look. I started moving away from her just letting her be and she actually started following me, which I took as a good sign. After awhile she was standing and about fell over asleep but when I tried to put her in the crib she screamed. So I sat her on my bed, she would not lay down, and she finally fell over asleep.

More to say, but she is awake so will write later tonight with how the rest of our day turns out and add more pictures soon!

GOTCHA MAVERY!!

2008-10-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

And we are never ever letting go. Well that is when you actually let me hold you! It went about as well as we all expected it to go. I will say right now she is not screaming, so that is progress! I will write more later but wanted to get pictures up! She is gorgeous, shaved head and all!

IT"S MAVERY MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-10-12T15:18:00.001-07:00

It is FINALLY here! I slept good last night. I fell asleep praying and woke up looking at her empty crib and just started bawling. Her day has probably already started, as it is a 2 1/2 hour drive from Jinhua to here. They are probably packing up her things, telling her goodbye, maybe whispering mama in her little ear over and over. I spent much time with our Father this morning just so full of JOY and thanksgiving over all He has done. The day is here! I was not sure it would ever be fulfilled, that Marks heart would change, that she would be mine. But this road, every bump and turn were all part of His plan. He knit her in my heart, just as He knit her together. He knew this exact moment that she would be placed in my arms forever. I believe right now that the Lord is the one preparing her in Jinhua. That He has held her for me for almost 3 years of her life. And while He will always hold her in the palm of His hand, He is allowing me to be her mommy. Mavery's mommy. Forever and ever. His ways are not our ways, they are perfect.
I am listening to the music from my other blog and the song you are everything is playing. And oh the words... "Where would I be with out someone to save me, where would I be with out someone who won't let me fall? You are everything that I live for, everything I can't believe this is happening you are standing right in front of me, arms wide open now I know that every day is filled with hope. "My hope is in Jesus and His promises and this is His story about to unfold. We are about to see Mavery standing in front of us, but I have no doubt we are about to get a glimpse of the Fathers heart right here in Hangzhou China.
I wish my kids could be with me, to see this take place. I wish you could all be with me. And you are, you are in my heart and I will carry your prayers into that room and when I put my arms around her, your love will also surround her.
I am not sure when we get back, but I promise we will at least get pictures up. You might not get the story till she is in bed tonight, but you know my heart will want to pour out our day. As this blog is all for Mavery someday to look back and I hope she will know how excited we are, how thankful we are, how in love with her we are before we even touch her.
As I end this post, Smile is on, a song that has played in my heart since I started Sage's process. "Just want to be with you, and it helps to know the DAY IS GETTING CLOSER! Every minute takes an hour, every inch can take a mile, I finally get to see you SMILE!" Maybe none of that, but the day is here. ITS MAVERY MONDAY!!
**I am posting so randomly so always be sure to scroll through so you don't miss things!